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Rangers Lead The Way

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All the talk recently about the first two women to graduate from the US Army Ranger School made me reminisce about my time in Ranger school, 37 years ago. Where to begin. Well, it was hard. Historically the graduation rate is around 50 percent, and most quit within the first few days, which surprised me. To apply for Ranger school you have to be recommended by your cadre or your commander, plus you have to surpass the prerequisites for physical fitness and military skills. Basically, you have to convince everyone that you're the kind of demented, hard-headed kook who could make it through the nine weeks of anguish. Before you left for the school, you are briefed by recent graduates about what to expect. I remember listening to their litany of misery and asking, "Didn't you do anything fun?" The two Rangers looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. I did spend the month before I was to report for the school toughing myself up. Besides my usual routin…

5 Great Horror Movies to Rinse the Bad Taste of Ouija Away

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In my ongoing effort to save you from studio horror movies cobbled together from the compressed shit of Hollywood burnouts, I bring you alternatives to OUIJA! #insteadofouija OUIJA has hit DVD/VOD and there's nothing we can do about that but don our gas masks, hunker down and pray for dawn. A horrifying prospect, but at least we can be entertained while waiting for the fallout to subside. Here's a few fantastic 2014 horror movie releases to make you feel like the world is still worth living...OCULUS seems to be a secret to this day. Despite some great buzz and a truly inventive style of storytelling, bouncing back and forth in time so fast the audience is left in a constant state of unease. The story wraps itself around a rapidly deteriorating family relationship brought to the brink of insanity by the presence of a haunted mirror. And that's where things get weird. The acting is pretty above average and the horror set pieces are jarring. OCULUS wasn't my favorite fil…

Mark Henry: Hangin' Out at Bitten By Books Today!

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I'm still in celebration mode over the release of BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH, so I'll be at Bitten by Books today, chatting like a crazy person. Head on over there! Unless you hate FREE STUFF.

There'll be videos, readings and a chance to win gift cards and a copy of PARTS and WRECK! Click here to get in on the fun!

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Beach Blanket Bloodbath Hits Da Skreets

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BEACH BLANKET BLOODBATH hit the streets over the weekend, two days early (believe me, I was just as surprised as anyone). And it's already hitting the lists (#12 in Satire, #55 in Urban Fantasy).

Here's what's the dillio: 

Zombie socialite, Amanda Feral, and her undead friends, Wendy and Gil, shamble into an idyllic seaside village for an event promoting Amanda's memoir, HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED and, as usual, to get some rest, relaxation and consume cute coastal townsfolk. As is their unique luck, plans are derailed when they become embroiled in a gory mystery at the Miss Sand Flea Pageant. Beset with perky, sinister go-go dancers, the inevitable wereshark attack and an annoying octogenarian writer, Amanda must, once again, take time out of her busy schedule of critique and ridicule to solve the crime and save a local bookseller from ruin.

You can pick it up now (except not at B&N or iBooks, because ::shrug:: I have no idea why they're so slow)...






To celebrate the…

Help promote some gargoyle-y goodness and get some cool swag from yours truly!

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Some of you know me as America’s Favorite Lower Midlist Urban Fantasy Author ™, the author of both the Simon Canderous paranormal detective and Spellmason Chronicles series. Yes, it’s that time of year again, where we talk about my next book the upcoming 9/24/13 release of Stonecast, book two of The Spellmason Chronicles.  Here’s where I dare to dream about growing my readership and possibly becoming an Upper Midlist author!  Fact:  I have awesome readers Fact:  Hearing their love for my books is also awesome, sometimes bringing me to tears Fact:  I use awesome too much Fact:  Despite the enthusiasm of my readers, the book world at large has little-to-no idea that my books exists So for the pending launch of Stonecast, I decided to utilize my greatest promotional tool (short of bankrupting myself running an ad in USA Today). Those tools are YOU, people.  Yes, you are all tools!  Perhaps I should rephrase that… Loyal readers:  your numbers may be small, but I have no doubt that you ar…

Carniepunk Giveaway and Tour!

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So, I'm sitting in my kitchen working at my laptop, as far as you know, when the doorbell rings. As any normal human being would, assuming there was a solicitor at the door or a sappy-eyed child selling diet-busting candy, I reached for my gun and slipped to the floor to avoid detection. Creeping across the hall, I lifted my head just in time to see the bestest shit-brown truck that ever existed barrel away leaving a puffy beige package on my doorstep, just like an unwanted baby...or THIS...
YESSSSSSS!!! Carniepunk ARCs came!!! Now, some of you may know that this literary wonder was the brainchild of my friend and fellow Reluctant Adult, Kevin Hearne, author of such Iron Druidness as HOUNDED and star of a certain Single Ladies Dance Spectacular, featured here (feel free to witness that particular madness as you continue to read toward the inevitable contest):


As excited as I am about my story in CARNIEPUNK (July 23rd), THE SWEETER THE JUICE (a post-apocalyptic zombie horror-comed…

CarniePunk!

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So if you haven't heard by now, the CarniePunk anthology officially has a cover and a release date of July 2013!

Featuring several of our own Leaguers, we've got some delicious short urban fantasy stories for you to read!


A star-studded urban fantasy anthology featuring bestselling authors Rachel Caine, Rob Thurman, Seanan McGuire, Jennifer Estep, and Kevin Hearne, whose stories explore the creepy, mysterious, and, yes, sometimes magical world of traveling carnivals.

The traveling carnival is a leftover of a bygone era, a curiosity lurking on the outskirts of town. It is a place of contradictions—the bright lights mask the peeling paint; a carnie in greasy overalls slinks away from the direction of the Barker’s seductive call. It is a place of illusion—is that woman’s beard real? How can she live locked in that watery box?

And while many are tricked by sleight of hand, there are hints of something truly magical going on. One must remain alert and learn quickly the unwritten rule…