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Showing posts from 2009

Nicole's Naughty Review of Avatar

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As some of you already know, I did a serious-ish blog post on Avatar yesterday, over on my site. Mark Henry responded by berating me about not talking about the mud jism or the smurf sex, saying I might not really be a Leaguer for such an infraction.

So here it is:

Nicole’s Naughty Review of Avatar

First of all, where the bitch’s nipples? The dudes have nipples, and the women wear these necklace/breast plate thingamabobs that appear to be designed to cover nipples . . . yet there are no nipples! Sometimes there seems to be a hint of nipple, but then there is one scene where Hot Blue Princess Lady (henceforth referred to as HBPL) is leaning over Always Hot Even as a Racked Smurf Sam Worthington (henceforth referred to as AHERSSW) cause he’s taken a tumble, or something, and her necklace falls forward. Revealed there is her boobie, in all its perfectly globular globularity, SANS NIPPLES.


Secondly, we gotta talk about the braid/flash drive/possible genitalia. As my former student pointed out…

HAPPY ALMOST-RELEASE DAY!

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Hey All!

I just wanted to remind you that NICE GIRLS DON'T LIVE FOREVER officially hits the shelves on Tuesday.

Also, I've got two interviews/events/contests going right now:

Amberkatze's Book Blog

Elie (Ellz Readz)

And I'll be making an appearance at the Whine Sisters, courtesy of Sherry Erwin, on Thursday.

This Seasons Greetings is Just For the Ladies!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Happy Holidays!

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Okay, I admit it-- I'm not nearly as clever as other Leaguers who compose poems and little ditties to celebrate the holidays, but here’s my contribution: Three Christmas pics for your viewing pleasure.


The first is a Christmas tree made from books.



The Adelaide Hills Council Library Service in Woodside, South Australia put this one together. The tree is made from used books for the body, magazine pages for the stars and cassette tape for the tinsel--all old library stock left over from the last book sale. Now that's recycling!

The second is a Christmas tree decorated with books.



Chicklet Books' display is part of the Princeton, NJ Merchants Window Display. The booksellers at Chicklet, also made a menorah out of books.

And what would Christmas be without Santa! Lady K has him captivated by her list.



Hope she (and all of you) have fun this holiday, stay warm, enjoy time with your family and friends. Just think, in a little more than a week, we start a new year with all its magni…

Santa Wicket sees into your soul, naughty folks

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In the spirit of the holidays, I give you a little ditty of mine about the woes of being a struggling writer. MSS is, of course, shorthand for manuscript. Enjoy and may my kitteh help make you ded of the cute this holiday season!

The Twelve Days of WriteMSSaka, The Write-mare Before Christmas(with apologies to the yuletide spirit)
On the first day of WriteMSS my true love sent to me
A cartridge full of black ink.
On the second day of WriteMSS my true love sent to meTwo white reams andA cartridge full of black ink.
On the third day of WriteMSS my true love sent to meThree red pensTwo white reams andA cartridge full of black ink.
On the fourth day of WriteMSS my true love sent to meFour copyeditsThree red pensTwo white reams andA cartridge full of black ink.
On the fifth day of WriteMSS my true love sent to meFive weeks til deadlineFour copyeditsThree red pensTwo white reams andA cartridge full of black ink.
On the sixth day of WriteMSS my true love sent to meSix weeks delayingFive weeks…

The Holidays, Urban Fantasy Style

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Giguhl wants to wish you happy holidays, bitches.



Also, to celebrate the magic of the season, I've composed a heartwarming melody that's sure to become an instant holiday classic: The Twelve Days of an Urban Fantasy Heroine.

DOUBLE THE FUN

Hey all! I'll be doing a joint event with Jill Myles at Bitten By Books starting tomorrow at noon. Come by and ask a question or leave a comment and you could win a copy of my newest book NICE GIRLS DON'T LIVE FOREVER.

RSVP here .

The Right-After Life

We were watching one of our fave tv shows, wherein the smartass host gets himself into such stenchy situations we're continuously amazed that he doesn't puke right into the camera lens. Yup, I'm talking about Dirty Jobs. Last night we saw the one where he took twelve hours to make one firework, which the guy who does it every day said would've taken him fifteen minutes. The guy also said he sometimes gets requests from families for him to pack the fireworks with the remains of their loved ones. As in, yeah, their ashes.

Imagine sending your last material bits up into the sky for a final, sparkly blastoff. Oooo. Aaahh.

The idea has merit.

So I'm thinking, yeah, maybe. Either that, or I'd like to be dumped in a public pool and mistaken for some toxic substance that would cause a mass exodus along the lines of the famous candy bar scene from Caddyshack.

I'm still debating.

What's the oddest after-life wish you've ever heard of someone making?

Guest Blogger: Shiloh Walker

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Thanks to the members here at the League for letting me pop in… I appreciate it!Want to know a word I hear a lot?It’s why.It’s a question I get asked a lot.From my kids… ie:Mom, why do I have to pick up my room?Why do I have to put up my clothes?From my darling husband who can’t understand why I love to curl up in a hot bath with a book and a glass of wine… with the door locked.(Moms everywhere probably understand the answer to that one.)I get it from people I used to work with when they ask me about my writing.I get it from people I meet at booksignings, who want to know why I have a picture of a sexy chick standing next to an over-sized cougar.Why do you write that kind of stuff?That’s the why I’m going to talk about today.Except I’m not going to answer the why.I’m going to answer the why not.Why not write hot paranormal romances?I love hot paranormal romances.I mean, I’ve got an entire shelf in the DVD cabinet devoted to BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.My TBR stack is no longer a shelf, i…

The League RAWKS the RT Book Awards Noms!

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Aw HELLZ yeah!
Thas right. Four. Count 'em. Four League members up for RT awards this year.
In the Best Vampire Romance Category... In the Best Paranormal Fiction Category...
Sadly, the rest of us have been judged somehow lacking. Luckily we have switchblades to remedy this situation in the future.
Seriously, Congratulations ladies, you make us proud as new parents of a baby that doesn't have three arms.

On the Hot Seat

So THREE DAYS TO DEAD is up for discussion today at Bitten By Books. Pop on over to chat about the book, answer a few questions, and be entered into their giveaway!

Come on, you know you wanna. :)

Things I Like

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Hi all! First of all, I want to apologize for being such a terrible Leaguer the past few months. Releasing a book is a LOT more work than I thought it would be. I thought I'd just sit back and not even notice . . . and that's not how it works. Anyway, things are finally settling down and I promise never to ignore the League so badly again. Until Tracking releases.

Today I wanted to give you another installment of Things I Like. As usual, some recent music that has (quite literally) been rocking my socks. Both of these bands have been around for a while, but I just heard them for the first time. And the second I heard both of them, I was hooked. Like, staring at the speakers and drooling on myself hooked.
The first band is the Editors. OMG that voice:

I get chills! Chills! Then I get kinda warm . . . like "I climbed the rope in gym class" kinda warm.
I feel similarly gym-rope-enhanced when I first heard this second band, Sea Wolf:

The next Thing I Like is Gail Carriger…

The Spinny Kiss

You know the scene. It's in every movie with a decent smooch. The lovers lock eyes. Then they lock lips. Then the camera seems to dance around them. Or are they standing on a huge lazy-susan operated by a team of ponies with pink bows braided into their manes? If so . . . I gotta get me one. Talk about a great backyard fun-ride. Spinny-kissifier combined with twirling office chair? I'm thinking hours of work-avoiding pleasure at my fingertips.

What would you do with a contraption like that?

Cause When You Think of Sarah Palin and Augusten Burroughs....

You think of Molly Harper.

This has to go down as the Most Random Publicity Mention Ever, but it's pretty cool. Thank you, CanWest News Service!

Save Amanda Feral!!!

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Click on the pic for your chance to win an ARC of Battle of the Network Zombies!
The zombie you save could be mine. **sobs**

Contests and Surveys, oh my!

First of all, I'm running a wee contest to win both a copy of Tempest Rising together with a copy of Gail Carriger's FANTABULOUS Soulless, over at my site. Come check it out!
And there's also a cover contest/survey going on here, in which you'll recognize quite a few leaguers! And I know you want to vote for us! I know it!
Finally, there's still time to come ask me some questions at Bitten By Books! And to enjoy a little vloggage. Awesome.

Our filthy thoughts been rekognized

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Kat Richardson and Mark Henry were mentioned in the X-Y pairings.  And in the Biting-Edge.

Win a Copy of Three Days to Dead!

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Come on down and check out Kelly Meding discussing what it's like to be a debut novelist, and enter to win a copy of her Three Days to Dead! All hosted by moi, here!
And, in the meantime, CONGRATULATIONS KELLY!!!!!

WAY TO GET PUBLISHED! *huge hugs and a whisky drink*

Bitten By Swag

I'm not normally a "click here" kind of guy, but I just found out Bitten By Books is talking about STAKED today and giving away free stuff, so feel free to click here and join in the fun. :)

Advice on the Big Day

So it has come down to me. The last of the League of Reluctant Adults to have her cherry popped. Er, not that cherry. The debut author cherry. Yep, in two days I am the last Leaguer to finally become a published, book-in-stores author!

I feel a bit like the little sister asking her crazy older cousins for advice. I've done pretty much all of the promotion I can at this point: blog, website, free serialized short stories on Suvudu. I've guest blogged all over town, done interviews, and have even scheduled a book signing.

All that's left is Tuesday. I have the day off. I hope to sleep in. After that...?

So my wise friends, what do you suggest I do on Tuesday to celebrate? My fellow Leaguers, how did you spend your release day? Sleeping? Working? Shaving your head and panting it blue?

Bueller?

Playing With Stairs

At my last signing, we sat next to the escalator. Which was, maybe, a good move. After all, anybody who wanted to get to the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section had to go upstairs. So did the kiddies headed to the Wizard of Oz Tea Party. But, honestly? I think most of them were more interested in the magical escalator.

Who wouldn't be? Personally, I think the ability to climb to a second story without once lifting your knees (and vice versa) gets you as close to up-up-and-away as you're likely to go without benefit of a jet pack. In fact, when I was in sixth grade, my buds and I were so enamored of the escalator at the museum we were supposed to be exploring that the security guard threw us off it, forcing us to resort to the elevator for our kicks.

Hubby doesn't understand the attraction--surely we would've had more fun checking out the mammoth bones? I figure I'm just easily entertained.

Which is why, without benefit of dancing clowns or spiked punch, I'm still havin…

Peer Pressure!

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Who thinks I should get this . . .
Tattooed on my person?

Da Winner!

Thanks to everyone who dropped by to read about the Red Dirt Book Festival (waving hello to Pioneer Librarian Cindy Stephens and that werewolf-loving Steve Wedel for visiting the League). I especially appreciate all the love you showed for me and for chocolate. You all rock!

The random number generator has spoken: SAYCHEESEPEASE won the Red Dirt Festival tote with all those books and swag inside it. CONGRATS! (Email me your mailing address at michelebardsleyATyahooDOTcom).

If you want a chance to win a $10 Best Buy gift card, mosey on over to my blog, and leave a comment about your favorite Christmas memory or drama.

I don't know about you, but I need more coffee. A lot more.

Now go back to your David Boreanaz naked viewing.

Me, too--

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Hey Molly-- thanks for the head's up...otherwise I'd have never known. Now, who is going to start the naked James Marsters club?


I'd give anything to have those...ah...cheekbones.

BTW, there's still time to catch Molly's interview at Marta Acosta's blog here.

Ducking Lightning

Though I know I may be stricken dead at any moment for moving naked David Boreanaz down a spot on our esteemed web page, I had to letcha know that Nicole Peeler's skipped on over to my place for a little Q & A today. And, yes, we are insured.

Membership has its privileges...

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You have to love Marta Acosta, author of the CASA DRACULA novels. Not only does she do fun author interviews, like the one with yours truly here, but she heads the Naked David Boreneaz Club, of which I am now a proud member. OK, sure, I picked on David Boreanaz for starring in that horrid Crow sequel, but surely my years of devotion to Buffy, Angel and Bones qualify me for membership.

I'm pretty sure this will qualify me for some sort of stalkers' watchgroup.

The Lowdown and Dirty on the Shreveport Smackdown

See the carnage unveiled here, in all it's shameful truth.
And enjoy.

Get the dirt on the Red Dirt Book Festival

I attended the Red Dirt Book Festival in Shawnee, Oklahoma last weekend. Shawnee is a small town about 45 minutes from Oklahoma City. The Festival is run by the Pioneer Library System, which means I spent a lot of my time with librarians. Those librarians have a wicked sense of humor and a love for all things books. Also, they know how to throw a party.

So. A few cool facts about Shawnee:
* It is the birth place of Brad Pitt. Bet you didn't know ol' Brad was an Okie, did you? His family still lives there, and he visits on occasion flying in by private jet. There's a little air strip in Shawnee. (That's not a cool fact, just a regular fact.)

* The Mabee-Gerrer Museum houses the only mummy in Oklahoma. I saw her, and her sarcophagus, and you know how I feel about Ancient Egyptian artifacts. They had quite a collection of items. The Thursday night reception was held at the museum, so I not only got to wander away and look all at the fabulous art, I got to eat delicious food …

Author Interview: Kelly Gay

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Who knew that when my initial release date was pushed back by a month, it would give me the chance to "meet" fellow debut author Kelly Gay? Her urban fantasy, THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS, releases November 24 from Pocket. Kelly is not only an awesome writer, she's funny, smart and brave enough to take time out and do an interview for the League.

Welcome!



--According to your website, you began your writing career with screenplays and won quite a few awards. What made you switch from screenplays to writing novels?

There were a few factors in making the switch. I was getting burnt out writing screenplays. I was in L.A., had an agent, had gotten some work, and made some awesome contacts, but never that spec sale I’d been working toward. I was away from my family, had a lot of downtime, so I started rethinking, started going through several unfinished manuscripts I had on the computer – all those novels I’d tried to write and never got beyond the first few chapters. I loved th…

Christmas and Vampires: These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

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I don't knit. Anything that involves hand-eye coordination and counting is not for me. My friend, Brandi, however, has always been crafty. She's never been able to just sit still, which has resulted in many a handmade scarf and pillow. And she came to the Kentucky State Book Fair on Saturday and presented me with this Christmas ornament:



And if that wasn't cute enough, check this out:



I am ashamed to say I've never even thought of "Season's Bleeding," but now I think I'm going to sign all my Christmas cards like that.

Brandi makes these felt (non-monster-related) Christmas ornaments and sells them at her online store found here.

The vampire ornament is available by special order if you contact her at bluegirldesigns AT gmail.com.

Sweet Jesus. Don't Make Me Wait...

Okay. So I'd pay money to see this...



Hmm?

Hmm?

Seriously?

Interview with Thriller Author JC Hutchins!

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I was lucky enough to meet author JC Hutchins in college. He was the kind of friend that always listens, understood, nay, expanded my pop culture references, and didn't make fun of the fact that I used to drink Zima infused with Jolly Ranchers. Yes, really. Over the years, we've both tinkered with writing projects, e-mailing chapters to each other on occasion and offering encouragement during the soul-sucking querying process. And somehow, against every law of probability in the publishing universe, we both ended up with publishing contracts.

Meanwhile, I have watched in awe as JC's 7th Son podcast has grown into an internet phenomenon with legions of followers (Hello, loyal clone army.) I am very proud to say, "I knew him when." JC's new book, based on the podcasts, 7th Son: Descent, hit bookstore shelves last week. And I wanted to introduce him to you guys, so you will like him as much as I do, buy his books, and force his publisher to offer him ridiculous a…

I'm Plotting

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that word. It makes me think of shifty-eyed alley dwellers who prefer the fire escape to the elevator. And when I begin a new book, I'm one of them. Creating a web of intrigue, romance, and horror meant to envelop you so completely that by chapter two you are at the mercy of my characters and their edge-of-sanity decisions.

Come into my parlor, darlings. Book eight in the Jaz Parks series is spinning on my wicked wheel. And hell just wouldn't be the same without you. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Come Get Your Blood

I know you've all been dying to find out who won the delicious blood candy. Well, fear not, my lovelies, we have a winner.

And that winner is:



(wait for it)



Unseelieme!

Email me at jayewells(at)gmail(dot)com to claim your sweet, sweet abomination!

Bring it!

Kelly Meding and I need YOU! We're both up on Bitten By Book's new November poll about which new releases you're most looking forward to! And we're getting STOMPED by Kenyon and MacAlister! Realistically we will continue to be stomped (as even I voted for MacAlister), but you can help us LOSE WITH DIGNITY!
There's also a new interview/contest with me and TR up here. :-) Thanks! And don't forget that my own selkie hunt contest is still very much alive! Send in those photos to win!

You're all winners to me!

But Zita is the one walking away with the $10 gift certificate. THANKS to everyone who commented on Jeff Strand's Halloween blog!

If you were one of the 39 who didn't win, here's some consolation:

I'm giving away new releases by fellow Leaguers: BITE MARKS by Jennifer Rardin and HOT SPELL by Michelle Rowen. You just have to leave a comment on my blog. Not here. THERE.

This month, I'm writing a story about Zombie Larry at the Broken Heart website. Readers will decide each week the direction of the tale. Majority rules. Check it: http://www.BrokenHeartOK.com

Now, don't you feel better?

Want to know how to make Jane's Mama's Pot Pies?

I mention chicken pot pies throughout the Jane Jameson series. Jane’s mother believes that if she gives her daughter enough of them, Jane will just forget about this silly blood-drinking thing and go back to a solid diet.

I received a few e-mails asking whether I have a good pot pie recipe. My mother-in-law gave me a great one, which I tweaked a bit because I am physically incapable of following a written recipe. (I once made a microwave spontaneously combust while baking a potato, I don't want to go into it.)

I keep a few of these in the freezer for those nights I don’t feel like cooking, but feel too guilty to feed my kids fast food. And since we’re heading into the colder weather, I thought I’d share it with you.

JANE’S MAMA’S POT PIE
(makes two pot pies.)

4 frozen deep dish pie shells
2 pounds cooked, diced chicken
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1 can cream of onion soup
1 can of Veg-All, drained
1 cup shredded cheese
2 tbsp minced garlic
½ tsp dried thyme
½ tsp cel…

I've Been Released! WOO HOO!

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Hello my friends! Today is the official release of my debut novel, Tempest Rising. It's all very exciting, and I'm celebrating by going crazy . . . with work! For book three is due in a few months, and I'm having WAY too much fun writing this thing. I think I am finally getting the hang of this fiction dealie, and Tempest's Legacy is coming on a treat.
In the mean time, don't forget there's still a contest in the works over at my site, and TWO $25 gift certificates are still up for grabs!
I've also been keeping track of all the reviews that are posted of TR, here, so if you're not sure whether or not you want to read it, maybe these opinions will help.
There's also going to be some more cool stuff coming at my site, including some shenanigans with the AMAZING Gail Carriger, author of Soulless, the book to most recently rock my casbah. I'm also planning a rather outrageous contest with prizes donated by my awesome colleagues here at the league, with…

Tricky Treats

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Let's be clear from the beginning: I am a fan of candy. In fact, judging from the tightness of my pants, I'm probably too big a fan. However, I've been thinking about the subject of candy a lot lately since everywhere I go someone's selling huge bags on the stuff in preparation for Halloween. Because when it's Halloween, forget about the ghosts and goblins. We all know it's really all about candy.

Today, I ate an entire large box of Junior Mints when I played hooky to go see a movie (shhh, don't tell my editor). These are a long-time favorite of mine. Chocolate and mint wins me every time. I'm also a fan of anything with chocolate and peanut butter--Reese's in both cup and piece form especially. And barring access to real chocolate, i've also been known to covet Tootsie Rolls.

When Halloween rolled around, these candies mentioned above always got hoarded, along with gum and Bit-O-Honeys. But everything else? Meh.

Every now and then I'll indu…

Snow Day

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Jeanne here. Ever wonder what it's like to be snowed in? Here are some pics to give you a taste. We had one snow already in September-- THIS one was a son of a bitch. Pictures on the left, a typical snow fall. Pics on the right, yesterday's.

Believe me, it reads better than it lives.














































































































You can tell the "today" pics are taken from inside. Snow was too deep to venture out! Also note, the street has disappeared. No snow plows in our neighborhood!


Mario, bless his soul, is missing all the fun. He’s gone to LA for the weekend. To party with Hollywood types. I imagine he’ll come back with lots of stories. Hopefully, that’s ALL he’ll come back with. This is what he said: I’m going to attend a tribute to Hollywood director Jesus "Chuy" Trevino (NYPD Blue, ER, The Practice, Law and Order, Star Trek: Voyager, Babylon 5). Basically I'm there to schmooze and pay my respects to him (and get away from you). And THEN he asks me to post for him at the Biting Edge on Monday…

I Vant to Bite Your Marks!

Wow, that sounds like a case for Germex. Or maybe a dot-to-dot enthusiast with a slight vampire fetish on the side. In reality it's just my cheesy way of saying, "Guys! I got a new book out! Like--now!"

It's called Bite Marks. You can see the spiffy new cover over here to your right. (Vanna, if you please?) And I'd wax poetic, but maybe you'd just like to attend my launch party over at Bitten by Books instead? Because I do some some 'splaining over there. And one of the impressive array of prizes includes a set of autographed novels provided by many of the ubertalented and extraordinarily gorgeous authors who make up this very League of Reluctant Adults. Pssh, yeah! But you gotta come soon, because the contest ends at midnight, October 29th. At which point I may just turn into a pumpkin. Or something.

See ya there!

Halloween Havoc: Wherein I Blackmail Jeff Strand into Blogging

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All right. I didn't have to blackmail Jeff Strand to blog. I just threatened him a little. With a sharp implement. Hey, I had to contribute something to the Halloween Havoc, and I figured, why not force someone else to blog in my stead? Okay, okay. I'll throw in a contest for a $10 Amazon gift certificate. I'll pick a winner from those awesome enough to leave a comment. I'll announce the winner next Monday.

My first-ever Halloween costume was Mighty Mouse, which I think is a fine choice, especially since my fond Mighty Mouse memories have yet to be tainted by some new movie with a CGI mouse and poop jokes. Oh, it'll happen, and I'll whine about it on my blog, but for now MM remains the coolest of the cartoon heroes.

After that, I went on a multi-year run as Spider-Man. Sort of. The costume had a thin plastic mask, but the actual torso portion of the costume was not Spider-Man's uniform, but rather a picture of Spider-Man. That's how store-bought kids'…