The Right-After Life

We were watching one of our fave tv shows, wherein the smartass host gets himself into such stenchy situations we're continuously amazed that he doesn't puke right into the camera lens. Yup, I'm talking about Dirty Jobs. Last night we saw the one where he took twelve hours to make one firework, which the guy who does it every day said would've taken him fifteen minutes. The guy also said he sometimes gets requests from families for him to pack the fireworks with the remains of their loved ones. As in, yeah, their ashes.

Imagine sending your last material bits up into the sky for a final, sparkly blastoff. Oooo. Aaahh.

The idea has merit.

So I'm thinking, yeah, maybe. Either that, or I'd like to be dumped in a public pool and mistaken for some toxic substance that would cause a mass exodus along the lines of the famous candy bar scene from Caddyshack.

I'm still debating.

What's the oddest after-life wish you've ever heard of someone making?


KarraMoeller said…

My older brother once told me that he wanted his spine removed (after he was dead, of course) and to have his eyes attached to the spine.

Why you ask?

Oh, so that I may drive to the middle of a lake, carrying his spine & eye combo with me, and after whipping the spine above my head a time or two, flinging it into the water to watch it disappear.

I think I was 13 or something at the time of the request. I'm 26 now and have yet to decide if he was actually serious.

As far as a more tame request, my mom wants to have her ashes made into paperweights. She claims she'd gift each of her three children with one so that we always have a part of her.

Because that's what I need. To be in the middle of work, glance up and see a rock created out of my mother's cremated remains.

Jennifer Rardin said…
Holy crap, I think I love your family!
catie james said…
There was a storyline several years ago on NIP/TUCK wherein a(n apparent) wife (who later turns out to be the dead guy's mistress) wants his ashes mixed into the saline of her (pending) implants. Knowing the writers take these stories from actual cases, you know damn well at least one person out there did it.
Jennifer Rardin said…
That gives a whole new meaning to heartwarming!
Hagelrat said…
You can also use bone ash in pot glazes, gives it an amazing quality. My brother has experimented with this and it certainly leads to some interesting ideas for disposing of loved ones. No grandma isn't in the urn, she is the urn. ;)
Thom said…
I am almost positive that I remember somebody having their ashes mixed into a glass dildo so that he could still make love to his mistress.

Then again, that could be one of those Thunderbird Photograph deals where you have such a stong visual image of something that you think it is a real memory even when it is not.
Jennifer Rardin said…
Wow--interesting concept, Hagelrat. Now how bad do I really want hubby around after--nope.

OMG, Thom. If it didn't happen, it really should've.

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