Once upon a time, travel by air implied adventure, romance, and elegance.
Who would've guessed back then, that in the 21st century--despite intercontinental jets, computers, all kinds of gee-whiz technology--taking off our clothes, walking barefoot, and getting fondled would be part of our travel itinerary.
Some passengers have had enough and so, another phrase enters the American lexicon of resistance to tyranny and injustice :
I regret I have but one life to give for my country.
We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us.
Tear down this wall!
And now: Don't touch my junk!
Homeland Security claims this humiliation is necessary to prevent another underwear bomber. But Janet Napolitino and her minions are strangely mute when it comes to discussing how they will stop the next obvious tactic intended to foil body scanners and the most aggressive of pat-downs: the Body-Cavity Explosive Device--aka the Butt or Cooter Bomb.
Such an attack already happened back in August 2009 when Abdullah Asieri infiltrated Saudi Arabian security. Fortunately, Asieri was the only casualty when a text message triggered the pound of explosive in his rectum. Good riddance.
Wrecked him? Hell, it killed him ---->
However, body scanners and pat-downs are useless in discovering such bombs. So then what?
Perhaps this blog has the answer with bomb-sniffing gerbils.
Until then, I suggest that Homeland Security require that all female passengers wear skirts, male passengers wear kilts, and everybody must go commando. And instead of the expensive and unreliable body scanners, TSA should opt for the cheaper and much more effective leaf blower.
On to other news:
One of my favorite books is finally making it to the big screen, The Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connelly. Starring über hunk Matthew McConaughey as the shady antihero lawyer: Mickey Haller.