What Are You Searching For?

Kelly Meding has hairy armpits.

(Let that sink in a moment.)

Do I know this because I hide out in her shower? No.

I know this because while going through my website stats the other day, that particular phrase came up as a pointer to my blog.

And as much as I might love to blackmail Kelly with some super hairy armpit pictures, the truth of it is that I've got her name on my sidebar (as I do all the Leaguers)...and I tend to post scantily clad men about once a week.

So somehow the browsers are putting those two things together and churning up my blog as the answer to their Urban Fantasy author hairy armpit utopia.

Now, note that I've never actually mentioned armpits on my site (until very recently when I noticed this interesting trend), but over the last few months I've seen an increased number of visits to my site - all based on hairy armpits.

Which is sorta scary in its own right, but I began to dig a little deeper and I have to admit to being a *little* bit disturbed...not only because of what people are looking for - but the fact that they're coming to my blog to find it. And I should point out this is NOT my official author site. Only well mannered folks go there. My Borrowing Heaven blog is a mish mash of stuff and random thoughts...and man candy. (So, yes, I do get lots of people looking for hot men. That's fine and expected. But....)

Search Phrase Winners of the Week:
1) Armpits. Armpits all over the place. Hairy ones. Hot men licking them. Oiled. Whatever. I probably get at least 100 hits a day on armpits alone.    (Also? Two and Half Men armpits. Okkkaaayy.)
2) Head of a hamster and back end of a cat
3) I like putting plushies in dirty diapers and throwing them away (O.o)
4) Star Wars Stripper
5) Dolphin Vagina
6) Manicorn (I have to cop to this one because I actually did post a picture of it. Years ago.)
7) Horse Pussy Hentai (WTF?)
8) Tired toad
9) Man taking it in butt from horse (okay, dude - if you're going to search for this, man up and use ass. Really. I think we're past the point of pleasantries, yeah?)
10) Old bloody naked guy with corpse

*passes brain bleach*

Yeah, I don't get it either. I'm so prim and proper about everything online.

And now I am off to make Unicorn Poop cookies with my former editor. Because that's how I roll.

(Yes, we will live tweet this, I suspect. Because of reasons.)


B.E. Sanderson said…
Those are some truly disturbing search terms there - esp #9. :shudder: Why...? Oh just why...

Thanks for the brain bleach. I need it.
Brenda Hyde said…
I owned a very nice, family friendly website for ten years, and one of most disturbing search that came to the site was one for ahem...women enjoying semen on their faces-- no way to say that differently O_O. Why did I get these people looking? Because I had a short article entitled Homemade Facials on the site. I kid you not. WTF?

Search engines can be disturbing. LOL
j. a. kazimer said…
I love the internet.

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