I'd be merry, but I'm...

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...in a place where there is no Thanksgiving. I'm Kyle, on Christmas.

We're still having Thanksgiving, of course. We managed to buy some outrageously expensive cans of Libby pumpkin at Selfridge's when we were there last month, so I can make pies. My Mom mailed us a can of french-fried onions, so I can make green bean casserole. Tomorrow I'll buy a turkey, and Thursday we'll do Our Thing. So I'm still having Thanskgiving, just...not. No parades. No football (grumble grumble). No Thanksgiving episodes of tv shows (although we do have "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" on DVD.) No quiet streets filled with the scent of roasting turkey. Christmas decorations have been up in the stores for weeks here already.

But I can still force myself to be thankful for some things, despite being thousands of miles away from my family and friends (I'm sorry, I'm getting a cold so I'm maudlin):

1. I am thankful that I can go shopping on Friday if need be without facing terrible crowds.

2. I am thankful that I can go shopping on Thursday, actually, if I feel like it.

3. I am thankful that my fingers have not yet broken off from overuse, like they do in my nightmares.

4. I am thankful that I have such good friends who still care about me even though I abandoned them all and left the country, and that they even send me things like cheap, good quality clothes for the children (impossible to find here) and Oreo cookies even though by rights they should be pointing and laughing at me.

5. I am thankful that I've met so many awesome people online, and that I get to be a Reluctant Adult.

6. I am thankful for bourbon. And gin. And beer. And that the holiday season means I can drink during the day.

7. I am thankful that after all these years, people actually pay me to write things. That should probably be number one but I am too achy and dizzy to fix it.

8. I am thankful that the hubs will be home from Thursday-Tuesday so I can hopefully sleep off this cold.

9. I am thankful to be human, and not an insect. Seriously. Aren't you glad you're not a bug?

10. I am thankful for central heating, running water, and flushing toilets. And cars. I love driving.

Okay, now I'm really digging. So off I go. But mostly, I am thankful for all of you--the readers who make everything worthwhile, who support me even though you don't know me, who will be willing to overlook this miserable little post and remember that sometimes I am actually funny when I'm not sick and feeling sorry for myself for being stranded in the middle of nowhere instead of home getting ready to see all my friends and make them pie, who buy my books or who will buy them, who make me smile every day in grateful disbelief that people actually care what I have to say about anything.

So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and pay no attention to that little blonde girl sobbing in the corner--she's just being dramatic.

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