Git Yer Freebies Rightchere!
Okay, maybe I shoulda been a tad more specific.
My mass market came out today! (Happy dance!)
For those of you operating in the unawares, five books in the Jaz Parks series are floating around the bookishness of the universe, but to this point they've all been trade paperbacks. The biggers.
Now you can get the first book in the series, Once Bitten, Twice Shy, in the regular size (and price!)
So to celebrate (which I'm always looking for excuses to do) I'm giving three copies away to random commenters. All you gotta do is tell me which monster you'd prefer to meet in a dark alley. Vampire? Werewolf? Zombie? Orc? Something I haven't named that you think you could vanquish a lot easier with your handy-dandy homemade sledge-0-matic? Lemme hear from you! The giveaway will close Friday at midnight Central Standard time. Let the virtual massacre begin!
My mass market came out today! (Happy dance!)
For those of you operating in the unawares, five books in the Jaz Parks series are floating around the bookishness of the universe, but to this point they've all been trade paperbacks. The biggers.
Now you can get the first book in the series, Once Bitten, Twice Shy, in the regular size (and price!)
So to celebrate (which I'm always looking for excuses to do) I'm giving three copies away to random commenters. All you gotta do is tell me which monster you'd prefer to meet in a dark alley. Vampire? Werewolf? Zombie? Orc? Something I haven't named that you think you could vanquish a lot easier with your handy-dandy homemade sledge-0-matic? Lemme hear from you! The giveaway will close Friday at midnight Central Standard time. Let the virtual massacre begin!
Comments
Um, how about an easily seduced demon? ;)
I'd have to say, for being able to kill purposes, a zombie!
In modern stories, if any of these bite you then you become the same thing. Werewolf bites make you a werewolf, vampire bites make you a vampire, zombie bites make you a zombie, orc bites make you an orc. Okay, maybe not that last one. Out of that group, I'd much rather become a werewolf. It's a part-time gig and running around as a wolf sounds better than shambling around all undeadlike.
Besides, werewolves have always been my favorite monster.
If I am just going to get killed by one of them, I'd still rather be killed by the lycanthrope. At least I can delude myself that I am just rough-housing with a big old dog. With a vampire or zombie, you're are being attacked by a room temperature corpse with breathe that smells like ass; there is no pretending that it's anything else.
But what if I just run away? Shouldn't I go with the zombie because they are so slow? Not really. I don't run as fast as I used to since my foot got messed up. Even if I did, those zombies have gotten a track coach or something because there are a lot of them who run pretty fast themselves now. In any case, I'm not outrunning much of anything.
So definitely a werewolf.
chuck a bucket of water on them...bingo....no more fire demon :)
i love the jaz parks series!
If it's just a meeting and I still get to come out of this alive then I still would go with a vampire. I wouldn't mind providing a snack.
Next I'd chose a werewolf or other shapeshifters. Be pretty cool to run around in animal form at times.
I'm partial to dragons too so I'd be alright confronting one of those.
Congrats on the books.
cindyc725 at gmail dot com
Otherwise, I think vampire would be what I would prefer.
Although, death is not really high on my list of priorities at the moment.
Hmmm, well in a dark alley I'd probably want to meet something I could outrun...which at this point wouldn't be much (so have to lose weight). A zombie slug? I could probably take that.
Still, if what earlier posters say is true and what bites you turns you, I'd have to go for werewolf.
"Werewolf, because they have nards you can kick." Too awesome ROCKY!!!
Demons... I would have said vamps or were but I be okay with becoming either of those.
I'm going with vampire. Throw down a few coins then run like hell while he counts them.
If I have to massacre something, let it be a goblin. They're sneaky and mischievous and have been known to be quite dastardly! Tricky little burgers are hard to catch though.
Dottie :)
Now if he's a cutey like Akmenrah on Night at the Museum...
If I have to pick something I could "take care of", then I am going with...ummm...well I guess zombie. BUT only if they are the slow, shambling, B-movie type. I've read too many Anita Blake books to know that *those* zombies can be nasty! Hmm...maybe Jaz and Vayl could be staked out (ha! no pun intended!) near by to save my a$$ when I panic and freeze! :)
Love the books and can't wait for the next installment!
If it's something that I'm suppose to beat up on I would have to go with strix (plural striges). Striges are strange, bat like monsters that suck blood. They have a tough, fibrous body covered with short hair with eight chitinous legs and batlike wings. The legs allow them to cling like insects to flesh or clothing, and a horny probiscus is used to suck blood from the victim. Striges are about nine inches long.
I just think they are funny looking and I like a challenge.
Fairy... meet foot. Easy win. But out of the options given I think I'd have to go for vampire. At least you get the illusion of some kind of intimacy and there's the (slight) chance that you may not be 'killed', just turned. Plus that would be pretty awesome, especially if they are as drop dead gorgeous as all the books say. -drool-
I had a nightmare about Zombies last night ): It was really scary.
"The glass is half empty" scenario: If I can't beat any of the monsters, at least a vampire would only want my blood. So I'd take the chance that a vampire wouldn't totally drain me over losing important body parts.
If I knew there was no way I could win though and it was a choose the best way to lose game, I would want to go against a werewolf. Although vampires are becoming more popular and mainstream nowadays, semming sexy and mysterious I still enjoy my daytimes far too much...
I love the Jaz Parks series btw, Jaz is my role model! :)
Then again, I think vampires and werewolves are hot so IF I'm gonna die, that would be a good way to go down swinging. Then again, I agree with the commenter about the succubus. Boink is the perfect way to go!
What monster I would prefer to meet in a dark alley? Something that I can deal with. So nothing with really large muscles and too many sharp teeth. Or super fast, cuz I haven't run in years >.< Better yet, while I love to kick ass, if I come across this thing in a dark alley it means I'm taking a short cut home after having a good time. So meeting a good monster, like the Flying Spaghetti Monster who blesses with his noodley appendages. Maybe I could get a free ride home with him.
Thanks, Chris! Sounds like you have a plan. This is always a good place to start!
LOL, Rocky! You're right, Albert could kick anybody's ass anytime. Which is why most monsters take one look at him and run!
Good point, Lisa. There is a squish factor, but well worth the lack of guilt!
You go, Miss Kitty!
I suspect your zombie plan is well in place, Brooke Reviews. Good deal. I understand mine involves a cabin in Canada.
Aw, Thom, you had that whole were-deal logicked out and then you went for the boinking to death. So now I'm just sitting here laughing because I know if I suggested your second plan in front of hubby or son they'd be like, "Where's the line?"
Brilliant, Sarah! I love that you love the Jaz Parks series!
I can tell you're a very giving person, Daelith, and would never let a vamp starve. Which is pretty cool. I'd considered a dragon myself. Then I had second thoughts. Too many ways to end up mangled beyond recognition!
That's pretty dern brave of you, I Heart Book Gossip. Last time I even saw a dark alley I was just driving by it and I freaked a little. Jaz is much braver than me. But I'm getting better.
You're right about Vayl, Marcee, he's luscious. As for super-skinny; it's overrated. All the sweet guys I've known have assured me they like curves on their girls, and I believe them.
Aww, Jackie, Simon Pegg is da bomb!!
I hear you tetewa. But I have to ask, would it be quiet? Or would it be that slurping soup sound? Because I really can't deal with that....
Woohoo! I'm with ya wendy d. At least with a were you can be assured of a hairy chest.
LOL, Vickie!!
Oh, I assure you, orcs are looming, elnice!
I like your priorities, Malice. Mine are quite similar!
Well, you know what they say about older men, jopan621. (Don't you? Because I have no clue.)
Cool deal, Emily, and I like your approach. It could totally work!
Well, cirynnite, my editor has mentioned the word "hardback" a couple of times as if she really means to go there sometime. But I have no idea when. Or if she'll stick to that plan. I'll definitely let you know should it all come to be though. And thanks for your kind words!
Neat idea, Jackie Uhrmacher. That would work with a few of my relatives as well. I'm totally trying it at our next Christmas party!
Marvelous idea, Melissa! Love to see that throwdown!
There ya go, Tasuki Honey. Gotta think about style too!
Great idea, Heather C. Original and practical!
One less goblin wouldn't bother anyone, Dottie. Go for it!
Aww, Suzan Harden, you know you'd still have to kill him. He'd never let you have any cats in the house!
There ya go, Tessie Tura, just call on some buds to help you out. Totally allowed!
Come to think of it, heavywhitewove....nope.
For you, definitely, macbeaner. For me--I'm sure I'd manage to trip into the dumpster and get myself cornered there. I know it's taller than I am. Doesn't matter. This is one of my skills.
Ick on the strix, Sarah! But they do sound cool as well!
I'm glad you're going for it in that order, Alicia!
Nice choice, Bec!
And we thought this was going to be tough. Way to go, Fantasy Dreamer!
Me either, Poppy. I have yet to find anything endearing about them!
Oh, geez, Taylor-Marie! Then you'd definitely need to off one!
I can see you've thought this out, Rox! Hope you're an excellent shot!
Good thinking, booklover!
Civilized vamp or dumb zombie. Your chances seem good either way, Paula!
I'm with you, Nichole--I could never, ever give up sunlight. Glad you're into Jaz!
All valid choices, saycheesepease!
I'm liking the way you think, Uniasus. A monster you can carpool with is a rare dude indeed!
Never thought of that, Roxanne Skelly. Excellent point!
Plus the whole Have-Seen-So-Much, Know-So-Much about the world is kinda intriguing. =D
not sure how to kill , somethin viloent (evil grin)
GYPSYWITCh36@YAHOO.COM
But (semi)seriously i'g go with ghosts, it's a bit less frightening than vampires ,zombies or Orcs.
That's always my plan, FaeryWing!
Agreed, Ivy.
I think, Anonymous, that orcs would actually be the most straightforward kills. Nothing special required beyond bravery and some sort of badass weapon. So it seems like a pretty good choice to me!
I'm impressed, pattepoilue. Ghosts are the last things I'd ever want to meet anywhere, much less a dark alley. Dunno why, just think I need big distance between them and me!
As for a zombie or an orc....I'm not so sure about those.