Wherein I finally watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Don’t.

Don’t say it. I know, I know. You’re all going, WTF? How is it that you’ve never watched Buffy,__ (insert epithet here. Your choice. Dumb ass completes the sentence nicely. I know. I inserted it.)?

I also had no idea who Joss Whedon was. Again—if you must call names, be super creative :)

So, okay. I’ve never watched Buffy. Scorn all you like, but I have reasons.

I think it was because during its run in the 90’s, I was still married to my first husband, and he was sort of in charge of the remote. I was in charge of baked goods and big hair. At the time, it worked. Er, at least I thought it did. That’s a whole different blog...

Also, I don’t come from the background most writers in the paranormal genre do—or so I’ve heard and read they do (again, this is me. What do I know?). What I mean by that is, I didn’t even know the genre in romance existed until I began reviewing and found Nina Bangs’ brilliance. When I finally wrote my first book—it was a contemporary. By then, I’d begun to read more paranormal erotic romances (wiggles eyebrows), and then I decided to write one of my own. When I did, I knew so little about vampire myth/folklore/whatever, Buffy would have slayed me for my ineptitude. From that point on, in my writing anyway, I made it all up with very little to go on because I’m a lazy ass researcher. It takes the fun out of writing for me so I only do it when force is involved.

Anyway, I’d never seen Buffy. Yep, I’ve heard all about Angel and Spike and the premise of the show for several years since I began writing. I’ve often heard the quotes or funny lines that became so popular from the show, and learned, after I stared blankly at the quote-er, they were from Buffy. I recognized Angel because now he’s on Bones. But I wouldn’t have known Spike if I’d crushed his body during a bull run in Pamplona.

Plus, once I tapped writing paranormals, I was afraid to watch due to getting anyone else’s shiz in my head. I try not to read in my genre, especially if it’s humorous. Even when my style’s compared to another writers in reviews etc—at least I know I’m keeping it real. I’m always secretly patting myself on my lame back that all the crap I come up with is born of my demented soul and not a twist on someone else’s stuff.

But we all know there are like five plots in the world. They just have a zillion variations. It all depends on how you spin it.

So fourteen years later, and always late to the party, I decided to cop to it. My BFF Renee talked Supernatural to me all the time, and I hadn’t watched that either. But during my writing hiatus aka, “Dakota’s waiting to see if she’s going to get another contract,” I watched Supernatural.

It’s the shit. I had five and a half glorious season to watch and I sucked them up like I was snorting coke off my mother’s kitchen table. Thus, I deemed BFF’s opinion invaluable, and I gave Buffy a whirl.

So hang on for the gush here, folks.

OMEFFIN’GOD—I had no idea. I feel like I just found a pair of Louboutin’s stranded on the side of the road—mint in package--in my size! I feel like I’ve been walking through the valley of the shadow of darkness and found the power and the glory in slayer kingdom when I came out the other side. My vampire goodness cup runneth over! I love, love, love it. I’m in season two right now, and I have contracts to fulfill, which means I’m sneaking these muthas in whenever I can.

So here’s my question for all of you—where the flip were all of you when I needed a good Buffy intervention? How could someone not have held me down, glued my eyes open, duct-taped me to a chair and made me, nay, forced me to watch this brilliance?

For shame—all of you, for shame.

No. I’m kidding :)

But here’s what I really wanna know. Spike or Angel?

Thus far, I’m a Spike, snark-licious, platinum blond-ish kind of chick.

You?