...but you knew that, right?
We write fiction all day long. So we spend good portions of our day lying. Writers are awesome liars. And gods. (In our minds.) After all, we control whole worlds, and people (the ones we make up, of course. Hell, I can't even get my son to brush his teeth on a regular basis), and we CREATE.
We also work in an industry that makes no sense. None. Publishing doesn't operate like the real world. Oh, not that I could operate within the real world. Stick me in a corporate job or make me do normal-people things, and my soul will wither and die. So, writing it is. Because mental institutions cost money, and I have no health insurance. Also, I cannot be without a computer more than twenty-four hours or my soul with wither and die.
Yes, publishing is crazy, so it makes sense writers are crazy, too. Who else works hours and hours every day without even knowing when they'll get paid? In a recent conversation with my boyfriend, he was like, "Wait. You turn in the book before you even get the check? Why would you do that?" See, that's normal-people mentality. Normal people work, and get a check once or twice a month like clockwork. Writers work every day and get paid ... um, whenever the mysterious and confusing "processing of payments" occur. Honestly, I think the accountants have wall calendars and darts labeled with writers' names. Then they bring in drunk monkeys and give 'em the darts. Those little furry bastards throw the darts at the calendar and whatever day it lands on is the day we get paid. God help us if a dart lands in the ceiling or a desk or an accountant's ass.
Not only do writers write for inconsistent paychecks, we also spend money and time promoting our work. 'Cause the publishers like to say that we have "online marketing." That means we have a website and we post on Twitter and Facebook 2,300 times a day. So, not a lot of publisher promotional investment in the book we've written (but have not been paid for), and because we're certifiable (AKA writers), we spend our own money on advertising, and do blog tours, and go to really expensive conventions, and jump on every promo opportunity out there.
I love writing. I love being an author. I don't always enjoy all the crap that goes with the job, but I feel damned lucky I'm able to write full-time. And the thing is, once you're in, once you're writer crazy, there's no going back. I can't be normal. I wouldn't even know how. That's why I hang out with other writers because they understand the crazy, empathize with the frustrations, and follow the golden rule: If you were paid, then you buy the booze for the rest of us. Because if I don't connect with other writers over multiple chocolatinis, then my soul will wither and die.
***Leave a comment. I'll choose three people to win autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN. Because I'm crazy. And also, nice.***
DA WINNERS: Random Number Generator sez Stacie, Nancy, and Johanna get autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN.