Writers are freaking crazy...
...but you knew that, right?
We write fiction all day long. So we spend good portions of our day lying. Writers are awesome liars. And gods. (In our minds.) After all, we control whole worlds, and people (the ones we make up, of course. Hell, I can't even get my son to brush his teeth on a regular basis), and we CREATE.
We also work in an industry that makes no sense. None. Publishing doesn't operate like the real world. Oh, not that I could operate within the real world. Stick me in a corporate job or make me do normal-people things, and my soul will wither and die. So, writing it is. Because mental institutions cost money, and I have no health insurance. Also, I cannot be without a computer more than twenty-four hours or my soul with wither and die.
Yes, publishing is crazy, so it makes sense writers are crazy, too. Who else works hours and hours every day without even knowing when they'll get paid? In a recent conversation with my boyfriend, he was like, "Wait. You turn in the book before you even get the check? Why would you do that?" See, that's normal-people mentality. Normal people work, and get a check once or twice a month like clockwork. Writers work every day and get paid ... um, whenever the mysterious and confusing "processing of payments" occur. Honestly, I think the accountants have wall calendars and darts labeled with writers' names. Then they bring in drunk monkeys and give 'em the darts. Those little furry bastards throw the darts at the calendar and whatever day it lands on is the day we get paid. God help us if a dart lands in the ceiling or a desk or an accountant's ass.
Not only do writers write for inconsistent paychecks, we also spend money and time promoting our work. 'Cause the publishers like to say that we have "online marketing." That means we have a website and we post on Twitter and Facebook 2,300 times a day. So, not a lot of publisher promotional investment in the book we've written (but have not been paid for), and because we're certifiable (AKA writers), we spend our own money on advertising, and do blog tours, and go to really expensive conventions, and jump on every promo opportunity out there.
I love writing. I love being an author. I don't always enjoy all the crap that goes with the job, but I feel damned lucky I'm able to write full-time. And the thing is, once you're in, once you're writer crazy, there's no going back. I can't be normal. I wouldn't even know how. That's why I hang out with other writers because they understand the crazy, empathize with the frustrations, and follow the golden rule: If you were paid, then you buy the booze for the rest of us. Because if I don't connect with other writers over multiple chocolatinis, then my soul will wither and die.
***Leave a comment. I'll choose three people to win autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN. Because I'm crazy. And also, nice.***
DA WINNERS: Random Number Generator sez Stacie, Nancy, and Johanna get autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN.
We write fiction all day long. So we spend good portions of our day lying. Writers are awesome liars. And gods. (In our minds.) After all, we control whole worlds, and people (the ones we make up, of course. Hell, I can't even get my son to brush his teeth on a regular basis), and we CREATE.
We also work in an industry that makes no sense. None. Publishing doesn't operate like the real world. Oh, not that I could operate within the real world. Stick me in a corporate job or make me do normal-people things, and my soul will wither and die. So, writing it is. Because mental institutions cost money, and I have no health insurance. Also, I cannot be without a computer more than twenty-four hours or my soul with wither and die.
Yes, publishing is crazy, so it makes sense writers are crazy, too. Who else works hours and hours every day without even knowing when they'll get paid? In a recent conversation with my boyfriend, he was like, "Wait. You turn in the book before you even get the check? Why would you do that?" See, that's normal-people mentality. Normal people work, and get a check once or twice a month like clockwork. Writers work every day and get paid ... um, whenever the mysterious and confusing "processing of payments" occur. Honestly, I think the accountants have wall calendars and darts labeled with writers' names. Then they bring in drunk monkeys and give 'em the darts. Those little furry bastards throw the darts at the calendar and whatever day it lands on is the day we get paid. God help us if a dart lands in the ceiling or a desk or an accountant's ass.
Not only do writers write for inconsistent paychecks, we also spend money and time promoting our work. 'Cause the publishers like to say that we have "online marketing." That means we have a website and we post on Twitter and Facebook 2,300 times a day. So, not a lot of publisher promotional investment in the book we've written (but have not been paid for), and because we're certifiable (AKA writers), we spend our own money on advertising, and do blog tours, and go to really expensive conventions, and jump on every promo opportunity out there.
I love writing. I love being an author. I don't always enjoy all the crap that goes with the job, but I feel damned lucky I'm able to write full-time. And the thing is, once you're in, once you're writer crazy, there's no going back. I can't be normal. I wouldn't even know how. That's why I hang out with other writers because they understand the crazy, empathize with the frustrations, and follow the golden rule: If you were paid, then you buy the booze for the rest of us. Because if I don't connect with other writers over multiple chocolatinis, then my soul will wither and die.
***Leave a comment. I'll choose three people to win autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN. Because I'm crazy. And also, nice.***
DA WINNERS: Random Number Generator sez Stacie, Nancy, and Johanna get autographed copies of NEVER AGAIN.
Comments
No, seriously, great post. Love the idea of the monkeys. I have often wondered that myself.
evjochum[AT]aol[DOT]com
Nice to know I'm not alone. ;o)
Until two years ago I had no idea that writers had to spend their own money to promote their books. It wasn't until I started following author blogs/vlogs that I learned you are never JUST a writer. You have to wear many hats to help make your books a success. I don't know where writers find enough time in the day to write, edit, promote, blog, vlog, etc, etc.
Good luck with Never Again!
Stacie
user1123 AT comcast DOT net
I understand what you mean, I love writing but for me I could never not work a day job because all my hobbies are expensive.
Thanks for the giveaway,
Karen
faefever25 AT hotmail DOT com
Thanks for the insight on the sacrifices of being a writer. =) I hope Never Again performs well for you.
I'm surrounded by "normies" all day long who don't have an inkling of what it's like to be the goddess of all I survey! It's a lonely existence toiling in this office full of people who haven't a clue what they are missing in their boring, normal lives.
But, I need the health insurance, so I toil away longing for a minute to slip into my secret world...
Pick me for the winner! I deserve it! ;-)
By the way, congrats on the new release :) And not just any release - a Romantic Times 4.5 stars TOP PICK. Smoookin'!
And who wants normal anyway? Normal is getting up at 6am to go to work at a repetitive 9-5 job where you have to dress like everyone else, do what some power hungry person tells you, deal with people that you wouldn't associate with if you didn't have to, and suppress everything that makes you an individual. Normal sucks. (just sayin')
terilhack at yahoo dot com
nancyg5997@gmail.com
-Q
I do love the drunk monkeys picking payday for all writers! LOL And I'm sure there are all people out there who get paid the same, much to their dismay.
*blink blink*
I don't get it.
:P
I think though that crazy is something special creative people have that the rest of wish we could scoop up and swallow :) I love that you writers are crazy, play god, and control your worlds (ok at least the imaginary ones) because then us readers get to escape into them for a few hours! It really does help us keep the wheels of the corporate giants running cause I am telling you without my book escape no telling what I would do to those servers of mine!
What! I know it's not just me!
And anyway, I've heard that normal is highly overrated.
except for all of my bad habits, liking to eat on a regular basis, sleep where it's a comfortable temperature and dry. Oh and being pretty lazy also.
Congrats on the new release!