Monday, February 15, 2010

Reality vs Fiction

I haven't been able to run for a while due to snowy conditions, which means I've had to resort to indoor forms of exercise. This requires room I really don't have, so picture me attempting a Pilates workout while snaking my arm through the rungs of a dining room chair, and twisting just far enough to miss the kid's tower of Xbox 360 games. It's a challenge that, more often than not, leads to flying figurines and bruised shins.

Which lets me know I could never be like Jaz and Vayl. If I tried to sneak through somebody's house--a place I'd never been--with the idea that I wouldn't make a single sound to alert them, I'd be toast before I made it to the halfway point. Most of the time I imagine myself tripping over the coffee table, falling into the ottoman, and being enthusiastically humped to death by the family Shih Tzu. Yes. I know that if I worked as a CIA assassin it would, at minimum, lead to certain torture and the divulgance of my safety deposit box key's location. And yet I keep writing about them. Probably because they never walk into walls or get BBQ sauce on their favorite sweaters.

You got any interesting characters (real or fiction) in whose footsteps you know you'd probably stumble and sprain an ankle, but you can't get enough of them anyway?

8 comments:

RKCharron said...

Hi Jennifer!
I love the escapism of books & films. Part of the enduring mystique of James Bond is the fantasy of living vicariously through that super-spy. I really enjoy the heroines & heroes of fiction. Eve & Roarke from J.D. Robb's "in Death" series are a great example.
Thanks for the fun post,
All the best,
RKCharron

Anonymous said...

All of my characters are more adept at...everything than I am. That said, they still occasionally trip, stumble or bite off more then they can chew. Running for their lives is not an uncommon circumstance for my MCs.

-Tom Gallier

Jennifer Rardin said...

Hi RK! James Bond...I can only dream of pulling off that suavivity. (Yes, that is a new word. Somebody call Webster's. They've blocked my number.)

"Run Away!" One of my fave lines ever... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg

Carolyn Crane said...

Great post. I feel your pain on the running. The indoor exercise just doesn't measure up. I actually bought ice cleats, but it sucked.

To answer your question, I could not be any character who have any kind of nerve whatsoever. So, that takes care of most UF heroines.

Jackie said...

Between Jezebel's five-inch heels and her unabashed enjoyment of being naked, there's no way I could ever be a stripper. Hell, people would pay me NOT to strip. Ooh, there's a thought...

Jen D. said...

I love Rachel Morgan from Kim Harrison's Hollows series. I love the action and adventure but, I know there's no way I'd be able to last 30 seconds in her hooker boots.

Jennifer Rardin said...

So that's a no on outfitting my running shoes with tank treads. Got it, Carolyn!

LOL, Jackie!

You know, in reality, Jen, the heels of those boots retract as soon as she needs to run!

Monkey in a Spacesuit said...

My main character is an alcoholic precognitive empath who occasionally loses himself in a hallucination-fueled seizure.
The only only time I fall on the floor was 'cause I waz drankin', never 'cause I was predicting the future.
Though that don' stop me from tryin'.

Who the HELL Do We Think We Are?

We're a bunch of paranormal romance and urban fantasy authors who occasionally blog, make filthy jokes and prowl the halls of conferences and conventions with switchblades!

Current roster: Mario Acevedo, Michele Bardsley, Sonya Bateman, Dakota Cassidy, Carolyn Crane, Molly Harper, Kevin Hearne, Mark Henry, Stacia Kane, Jackie Kessler, J.F. Lewis, Daniel Marks, Richelle Mead, Kelly Meding, Allison Pang, Nicole Peeler, Kat Richardson, Michelle Rowen, Diana Rowland, Jeanne C. Stein, K.A. Stewart, Anton Strout, and Jaye Wells

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