The Joke's on Me
My dad was the jokemeister. Every time I came to visit he'd meet me at the door with a one-liner. He's been gone eleven years now, but I like to think some of his humor lives on in my books. I miss trading jokes though. So I've got one for you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done.
Too lame? Okay, how about this one?
What do you call a werewolf with mange? Human.
Or . . .
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Didja groan? That was the point, silly! Now you've gotta outdo me! Hit me, baby, I'm ready for some giggles!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done.
Too lame? Okay, how about this one?
What do you call a werewolf with mange? Human.
Or . . .
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Didja groan? That was the point, silly! Now you've gotta outdo me! Hit me, baby, I'm ready for some giggles!
Comments
A Vampire walks into a bar and asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why the hell do you want that?" The Barman asks.
"Because Im making a brew" says the vampire pulling out a used tampon.
Bunny farts.....
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.....
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence....
What do a brick and an airplane have in common?
They both fly, except for the brick.
What's green, has wheels, and grows around the house?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
Why does a fireman put out fires?
Because it's his job.
Seriously, it gets funnier the more you think about it.
What's big, white and if it fell out of a tree could kill you?
A fridge.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "You drive. I'll man the guns."
Think about it... Think about it...
Ha! Gets me everytime!
Ground beef!
----
What stands on all fours, and goes "OOooooooooo.... OOOOOoooooo..." ?
A cow with no lips!
(No idea why the only two jokes I can reliably remember are about cows.)
"Because chickens are STUPID."
Get it? Turned into a drive way? Transformed?
Yeah, I didn't get it the first time my boyfriend told me it either. =/ Just thought I'd pitch that in. =]
Ellifino! ~It sounds funnier than it looks... really.
My joke addition: Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron!" The second atom says, "Are you sure?" Replies the first atom, "I'm positive!"
He's a -pickin', and I'm a-grinnin'
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was safety pinned to a punk rocker!
HA HA HA...visualize...
First walks into a bar. Second guy walks into a bar. Third guy ducks.
One of my favorites:
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Quattro Cinqo.
I also love this one:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. When the bartender asked him about it, he says, "Argh! It's drivin' me nuts!"
I told that one to my friend and now she giggles whenever anyone says that something is driving them nuts.
What is E.T. short for?
*shrug* he's just got little legs.
My favorite from when I was a kid was "what's red and green and goes a thousand miles an hour?"
--a frog in a blender
It's not even funny. But I loved it. Loved. It.
Corpse and Robbers.
What did the zombie get a medal for?
Deadication.
What did the zombie's friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?
What do you call a zombie in a belfry?
A dead ringer.
What does a zombie like to wear?
A Braincoat