The Next Pandemic

I've been trying to figure out why I refuse to panic over the Swine flu, despite the fact that the WHO seems to want me to cover my house in plastic and vaccinate everyone who enters, including my daughter's pet rabbit. Obviously people who have more education than I do are concerned, so I should be shaking in my shoes. I mean, it's killed like 1800 poor souls. Not as many as the regular flu (which wipes out between 250,000 and 500,000 lives every year) but, as the WHO says somewhat hopefully in its memos, the potential is there.

I've decided it's all in the name. Swine flu. Or worse, H1N1. Come on, really? You science types have done it yet again. Totally stunk up a perfectly horrifying prospect with a crap descriptor. What you should've done was call Stephen King. Now that dude knows how to name a flu. If the WHO has released a letter to the public that said, "Captain Tripps is on its way to your town," I'd be so freaked by now I wouldn't have slept for a month.

Which just goes to show you--if you want to freak out an entire nation, what you need to start with is a really good writer.

Comments

Falcata Times said…
LOL, it does seem fairly true Jenn. Mind you I did wonder about the whole thing.

If all men are pigs, and they suffer Man-Flu, then does that mean that all men have Swine Flu all the time?

Scientists really need to come up with better names. For example:
The Scourge,
The Disembowling (hey its the squits but sounds a lot worse.)

But yeah, you're definitely right, maybe Stephen or some other Horror author should be hired to act as the press release officer. They'll get that scare on so good that quarantine would be the last of the peoples worrys. We're talking about pitchforks and fireballs here. LOL
Taschima Cullen said…
Im much like you. I have not panicked about the whole Swine Flue thing either.
Anonymous said…
My wife calls me Pigboy. Should I be worried?

- Tom Gallier
Jennifer Rardin said…
Falcata Times, whoever told you all men are pigs has totally lost touch with reality. Guys rock.

Good to hear Taschima. I guess when they come up with a whacked name like 'Rot Yer Brain' flu we'll know when to run!

Only when she starts liking cows better, Tom.
Jaye Wells said…
Have you heard some people are holding "Swine FLu Parties"? The goal is to hang out with someone who has the flu in order to get a mild version of it before the SKEERY PANDEMIC OF ARMAGEDDON happens. Idiots.

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