LRA: WTF Answers - Void City Edition

So... I think the idea is that we band of merry lunatics should answer the questions in the main LRA: WTF post in our own post so they're easy to find. And if I'm wrong... well, my being wrong is not particularly new to anyone. ;P

I'll answer some of the questions in character and others...

Eric: Good lord, would you stop talking about questions and f*cking answer one?

[Enter, one vampire in "Welcome to the Void" t-shirt and jeans.]

Me: Right okay, so Kiyote asked "How do you organize your writing? Outline or no? Notecards? anything?" Good question, Kiyote. I'm a panster so-

Eric: I can believe that.

Me: Believe what, Eric?

Eric: I can believe you got pantsed a lot. Wait. That would be a Pantsee. Never mind. Go back to talking about your pants.

Me: I start out with a character and a situation, an idea for a central conflict and rough idea of what the theme of the book is.

Eric: Theme?

[Eric raises an eyebrow.]

Me: Yes, a theme.

Eric: You're saying that first book with me in it has a theme?

Me: Yeeees.

Eric: Bullsh!t.

Me: It does!

Eric: Then what is it?

Me: Well, I mean, you don't have to read this into it. The books are meant to be enjoyed for the action and humor, too, but Staked was largely about recapturing the idea that being a vampire isn't all fun and games, that it (no pun intended) sucks and how human foibles can be far worse than a bad reaction to sunlight.

Talbot: I can see that.

[A tall muscular being appears. He is dark-skinned, bald, and dressed in a custom-made tux.]

Eric: Where the hell did you come from?

Talbot: Well, when a mommy idea and a daddy idea love each other very much...

Me: Can I please just answer Kiyote's question?

[Eric shrugs while Talbot responds with an indulgent nod.]

Me: Outlines would be useful if I could manage one, but for most novels, I can't. I go straight from that initial scene and write whatever I want to write. Sometimes it's the next sequential chapter, but it can also be a chapter from anywhere in the book. I have a few folks that I bounce ideas off of, but that's all the conscious planning I do.

Eric: You suck.

Me: What?

Eric: You did all that crap to me on a whim?

Me: Well, no. I knew I wanted a murder mystery aspect to Staked and that ReVamped would be more of a questing type book... so that you'd have to deal with High Society Vampires. You know, since you hate them...

Eric: I'm not talking to you.

[Eric walks off the stage shaking his head.]

Me: Maybe that's enough questions for today.

Talbot: No, I'm answering the jam question.

Me: What? Why?

Talbot (ignoring me): In my experience you need to get the ingredients up to about 100 degrees celcius. Once you let the mixture cool, you should notice that it begins to gel somewhere between 55 to 50 degrees.

Me: Do you want to answer JD's question too?

Talbot: Global warming? Humans will be fine. Historically speaking, the real evolutionary problems will arise when the climate shift reverses itself.

Me: Okay, so you heard it here first. According to the supernatural cat person, we'll be fine.

Talbot: Which doesn't mean you should ignore pollution.

Me: But I thought you said.

Talbot: I said the human race would survive. I didn't said they'd enjoy it.

Me: Oh... Well there are only a few questions left, so I might as well.

Talbot: Skip the one from Falcata Times about likeable characters. When you do it, it's by accident.

Me: Hey!

Talbot: And saliva breaks down bloodstains very effectively, Kelly. Oni saliva works particularly well as long as it's a non-organic fiber. Oh, and cold water is a must, if you have to go ahead and do a more traditional wash. Hot water will help lock the stain in, so avoid it at all costs. You know... I think I've answered this question before...

Me: Talbot! You do not get to take over the blog post.

Talbot: Looks like that's all the questions we have time for today, but keep asking and we might stop back in and answer some more.

Me: Talbot!

Talbot: Bye, all.


pattepoilue said…
lol that post made me laugh! you shouldn't let Talbot take control like that, even if he goes all fangs and fur on you, that's not healthy ;)
Jeremy F. Lewis said…
Talbot: Let?

Me: Keep it up and you'll be speaking like a LOLcat in the next book, T.

Talbot: Ah... You were saying, Mr. Lewis?

Me: Glad you enjoyed the post. :)
Daelith said…
I think you should be grateful Greta didn't take over the post. That could be scary.
Anonymous said…
I totally loved this post!!!! Needed a good laugh and this fit the bill to a T!
Jeremy F. Lewis said…
I'd be afraid to be in a post with Greta. She might eat me.

Or maybe she'd start calling me Grandad, which would be odd in its own way...
sothrn said…
Jeremy, Talbot and Eric, I love you guys. Thanks for the laughs and the info. I am still waiting for the next book..rather impatiently, I might add. Jeremy, see you at DragonCon.
Kiyote said…
thanks for the answer to the ?...much appreciated...maybe i will see you tomorrow at dragon con.

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