Friday, July 22, 2011

Get a Room

This week, I've been working in Starbucks to avoid the scorching heat and the laundry piling up as I get closer to deadline. Two incidents, though, are making me rethink working in public.

First, I was focusing on my laptop, typing away like a fiend. I reached the end of a sentence and looked up to ponder my next step. The door of the store was right ahead of me and I noticed a familiar-looking woman walking across the parking lot toward her car. "Hmm," I thought, "Is that Heidi?"

I shrugged it off and got back to working. Half an hour later, I gave myself a quick twitter break. Sure enough, Heidi sent me a message asking if I had been working at that Starbucks. She then informed me that "You looked pretty intense so I didn't want to interrupt."

I panicked. What did people see when they witnessed me working? I thought about how I will often make expressions reflecting those of my character's emotions. I'll laugh out loud and tear up. I spill coffee on my shirt and get so many refills that my kidney scream for mercy. Basically, I become a jittery schizophrenic.

Sorry, Heidi. No one should have to see that.

The second incident happened the next day. No, I didn't stop going because I didn't want to expose people to my embarrassing writing face. I should have learned my lesson.

That day I was working on the big sex scene in the book. The final one in the series, in fact. The hugely ahem climactic scene.

And then the priest walked in.


And sat down right across from me, so his uber white collar blinded me with its pious glow.


Maybe it was my checkered past with Catholicism that made me feel so ... guilty. Or maybe I just didn't like the idea of a man of the cloth seeing the faces I made while I was writing sex.

OMG, he totally saw my sex-writing face!


I tell you all this because you've no doubt witnessed a writer at work in a Starbucks. Maybe you didn't witness their sex-writing face or overhear their fierce whispers, but you felt the desperation as you passed. You smelled the coffee-scented sweat and saw the cigarette-stained fingers.

Despite the glamorous writing lifestyle promoted by Hollywood--I'm looking at you, Rick Castle--writing is a pitiful, embarrassing process. One best done in private. A lot like sex, come to think of it.

But if I listened to reason, I wouldn't make my living talking to my imaginary friends. So I'll see you at Starbucks tomorrow. I'll be the one staring a hole into my laptop screen and occasionally shouting curses. Just don't make any sudden movements and no one gets hurt.

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The sale goes until Sunday so go by yourself some books. You deserve it!


Mario said...

I'll pay $$$ to see your sex-writing face. Perhaps Webcam yourself?

Jaye Wells said...

I'm pretty sure the priest snapped a pic on his cell phone.

RK Charron said...

Hi Jaye :)

Thank you very much for the fun post.

I'm still grinning.

I'm wishing you a wonderful writerly weekend!

All the best,

Chelsea / Vampire Book Club said...

I'm pretty sure we could start a nice meme of authors posting their "sex writing faces."

Who wants to start?

Julie S said...

Haha. So funny. But I bet Starbucks patrons are used to the writers/college students who study/write while drinking their coffees and have silly expressions. Although, I wonder if us readers have those expressions too. I mean, we get to live through the characters and feel their emotions. So surely we have expressions while we read. That's got to be an interesting social study.

Sharon said...

okay, that was funny. I always wonder if people can tell what I am reading on my kindle while I work out on the elliptical. Last night I was reading a smexy scene and lost my footing for a sec ;)

LupLun said...

Personally, I'd just go on doing what I was doing. If anyone asked what was going on, I'd just tell them the truth as straight-faced as I could and let them be squicked out. It's not my fault if they decide to snoop on people who clearly do not want to be bothered.

Of course, it's been established for some time that I am a very bad person...

Lupines and Lunatics

Christine Rains said...

*LOL* Thank you. I needed that laugh tonight! I can't write when other people around. Never mind writer sex!

Nicole Peeler said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! I love this post! It totally made me crack up. I know I have a sex-writing face, and I'm loathe to show it to the world. Eep!

CTannStarr said...

LMAO!!! Now I can't stop peeking at my writers' workshop peeps (LOL). Too funny! ;-)

Who the HELL Do We Think We Are?

We're a bunch of paranormal romance and urban fantasy authors who occasionally blog, make filthy jokes and prowl the halls of conferences and conventions with switchblades!

Current roster: Mario Acevedo, Michele Bardsley, Sonya Bateman, Dakota Cassidy, Carolyn Crane, Molly Harper, Kevin Hearne, Mark Henry, Stacia Kane, Jackie Kessler, J.F. Lewis, Daniel Marks, Richelle Mead, Kelly Meding, Allison Pang, Nicole Peeler, Kat Richardson, Michelle Rowen, Diana Rowland, Jeanne C. Stein, K.A. Stewart, Anton Strout, and Jaye Wells