In honor of my 44th birthday yesterday, I got to renew my driver's license. It wasn't that bad, actually. I went around 9:30 a.m., and it's a fairly small town so I didn't even have to wait. Just walked up to the nice man and handed him my old license. Which was from 2001. No, not kidding. I didn't have any tickets or wrecks, so they just let me buy a sticker to put on the back to stretch the renewal period to this year. Needless to say, the picture was dated. Ancient enough, in fact, that the guys at the safety check in airports were starting to look at me kinda funny.
The state also thought I needed a new card. In fact, they figured I needed an eye test too. Not a big deal, except I had to press my forehead against that black pad to make the letters show up. And it didn't feel clean. Do they ever wipe those suckers down, do you think? Ugh, I just wanna go shower remembering it.
So then the dude asked me if I still wanted to be an organ donor. And I said, "Of course." But here I feel as if I should apologize to my future donee, should the worst happen (to me). Because my bladder is about the size of a ping-pong ball. Which means whoever gets it is going to become very familiar with their bathroom. Take my advice, decorate it lavishly. Use your favorite colors and fabrics. You're going to be looking at them a lot!
Then came the dreaded picture. I tried to primp for it, but it still turned out looking like I'd been swigging energy drinks so I could stay awake for the last forty-eight hours, perhaps to do surgery on other organ donors.
Though my experience wasn't quite the nightmare I'd anticipated, I'm sure a little mood music and a snack tray (along with a shot of Germex to that eye test machine) would've improved it immensely. How would you make your trips to the license bureau more fun?