Good Idea, Bad Execution

Ever come up with a word that makes perfect sense in your head, then makes you cringe/cry/LOL as soon as you actually type it?

I've been doing some world-building on a potential new project, and I needed a slang word for penitentiary guards. First thought was Peni guard, which I then shortened to Peni.

Works perfectly, yes?

Until I needed to pluralize it for a sentence.

This is what I typed: The Penis hated him on principal.

My cat woke up and glared at me for laughing so hard.

What have you written lately that compares?

Comments

writtenwyrdd said…
You could use it as a perjorative from the prisoner's pov, though. Calling the guards penises would be funny. I've never come up with anything that unintentionally good, though.
Falcata Times said…
Errrmmm, I was writing a scene where my character had to go and chat with the Knockers (As in Tommy Knockers, from Cornwall.) So there I was with the character trying to gain entry and I called one of them the Door Knocker. At the time I didn't think anything of it, but on the reread when it was knockers this and knockers that I couldnt help but laughing.

(Knockers is a UK Euphenism for Boobs.)
-Kelly Meding said…
writtenwyrd - Using it as-is is certainly one way to put a lot of penises into a non-erotic book. *snort*

FT - ROTFL! Love. It.
Jaye Wells said…
I was in debate in high school, and one year the resolution was about prison overcrowding. My partner spent an entire debate referring to "penial colonies."
Anton Strout said…
This just makes me think of faux-Sean Connery on faux- Jeopardy when he reads the category as "The Penis Mightier.." instead of "The Pen Is Mightier."
Vickie said…
*snork* Thanks for that! Diet Pepsi all over my computer screen. IT dude is gonna have a kitten!
Nicole Peeler said…
I know ya'll have seen the impotance of proofreading, but if you haven't, you tube it. Hi-larious. And I get shit like that all the TIME.

If I had a dollar for everytime a student wrote "impotence" instead of "importance," I'd be a gazillionaire.
JD said…
At a previous job, we had an in-depth discussion over whether the plural of penis was 'penii' or 'penises'.

Believe it or not, it was a legitimate discussion. Our project was to 'undertake scientific research determining the impact of intesive prawn (or shrimp for you Americans) farming practices on the environment'. In laymen's terms, torture the little ten-legged buggers as much as we liked because they aren't covered by ethics... Shh, don't tell anyone.

There is one thing from that job I will always remember: the male of the Penaeus species has two penises (or is that penii...).
tom-gallier said…
I probably shouldn’t admit this. So embarrassing. But in my very first novel, written before the moon was born and the Earth still smell fresh, I had my main character living in a castle overlooking the Mensis River. Uh-huh. I was clueless that that was a real word, until my future wife read it and almost pissed her pants. She set me straight real fast.

I’m going to go bury my head in sand now.

BTW, I almost changed the name of the river to the Red River after that, but…
Tez Miller said…
Congratulations, lass - your brain is now almost as smutty as mine ;-)
Nicole Peeler said…
Hey, I live right along the Red River. And that's not a euphemism.
-Kelly Meding said…
*hands Vickie a wet towel for her computer screen*

Mensis River...buwahahaha!
Instead of, "He scooped the leftover eggs into the dogs' bowls," I wrote, "He scooped the leftover eggs into the dogs' bowels."

Good thing the editor caught that one.
Pike said…
So are there other leaders who have their own Peni guard? Or do t hey suffer from Peni envy? I know, it's a groaner but couldn't help myself. (And wondered why Anton didn't jump on it!)
Jackie said…
HAH!

Well, it's not exactly the same. But for a MG project I've been working on, there's a country called "Dalsa." I was writing a memo for my day-job project, which was all about getting a shipment out to Davos, Switzerland. You know I accidentally wrote "Dalsa" instead of "Davos," right?
Thom said…
You realize that you now have a moral imperative to write something where the penis does hate him on principal, because that is too good a line not to use.
-Kelly Meding said…
Thom, it may or may not worry you that there is a minor sub-plot to the story in which I could make that line work.

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