Zombie fears, part deux

I can't watch zombie movies. They give me nightmares. But everybody told me that I had to read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" because it's so clever, (It really is, I chuckled plenty.) and I'm such a huge Jane Austen fan and have such an irreverent sense of humor. So I started reading it because I figured, how bad can it be?

Well, it turns out that setting the action in my head is so much worse and graphic because I incorporate what I really fear about zombies. Like my kids being hurt or being sent away from my family because I've been nipped by the walking dead. I read a few measly chapters and had nothing but zombie nightmares last night. To the point that I woke up at 4 a.m. crying like a tiny, tiny girl.

I gave the book to a co-worker just to get it out of my house.

AND ON THAT NOTE....

I have a well-established fear of clowns. It's called coulrophobia. It's a real fear. Look it up.

So someone sent me a still photo close-up of a clown, because haha, Molly's afraid of clowns. Hilarious.

When I didn't respond, they wrote back, "Oh come on, it's a zombie clown, it's like two of your greatest fears combined."

So I looked at the photo again and realized it was indeed a zombie clown, complete with red nasty eyes, smeared, sinister skull-like make-up and droopy mouth. And I didn't notice. Why? Because to me, that's how all clowns look.

Analyze my emotional health at will

Yay Sharon and Yay Jane!

My cover artist won a big award! Yay!!! Orbit's so happy for her! And so am I!

Please take a moment to congratulate Sharon at Orbit, at my site, or both! Woo hoo!

Because I'm a giver

I'm sure you all know by now what a giving personality I have. My giving is only exceeded by my modesty...

So I thought I'd share the cover of the next anthology I have a story in. It's a January pub that moved a few times, changed titles, but here it is in all its glory.

My story in it is a contemporary fantasy story called "Stannis", a weepy little tale about a young girl in the city and the centuries old gargoyle sworn to watch over her family.

It may or may not be from the Simonverse.

I'm not sure who else is in it, but aren't I enough reason to go out and support the title? Order now before the ghost of Billy Mayes comes after you with the hard sell!

And the WINNER IS...

For the winner of the lil mini-contest for Leaguers only, I used the highly scientific method of numbers cut up into a coffee can:

Then I pulled one out!

If my calculations are correct, number 6 is My Blog 2.0 (Dottie)!

Congratulations, Dottie! Send me your snail mail deets at iheartselkies(at)gmail(daht)com, and I'll git you an ARC ASAP!

To everyone who didn't win, I wish I had a copy for all of you! I really do want to thank each and every one of you for all of your support. You guys have been AMAZING and I hope you get your hands on a copy of TR soon!

Toy? Or Amazing Spy Gadget?

I went to my favorite toy store last week to beef up my Christmas list. Although all I came home with was a glow-in-the-dark skull (woot!), I am now hopeful that my wind-up dancing robot girl will have a new boyfriend by the New Year. And I saw a yard-long ballpoint pen that would be just hilarious to bring to book signings, so it went on the list as well.

What I feel I cannot live without, however, is a miniature Etch-A-Sketch. In fact, if I were a spy, that's how I'd leave messages for my comrades. Then they could just shake the Etcher after they were finished reading it and, voila'! Evidence erased! Think of the number of hotel fires this would prevent since nobody would be burning clandestine messages in trash cans anymore!

How would you pass secret information to your undercover buddies, given the chance?

Kindazombies!

I'm not sure what the virus does, but it ain't good.

Verdict?

Awesome!

Pop Syndicate

Mario here:

What if the Honorable Sonia Sotomayor was not only the first Latina, but the first witch, to be nominated to the US Supreme Court?

Read all about it: Pop Syndicate

And the Reviewer is...

The winner of the Rosemary & Rue ARC/Guest Reviewer contest is...

JD!

Come out of the woodwork and email me:

me(at)markhenry(dot)us

And NOT mark(at)markhenry(dot)us cuz that one doesn't exist.

I'll hook your ass up.

Because I LOVE You Guys!

So I'm back in the Porte du Shreve, in my revisions oubliette. 

In a month or two, when it gets closer to my publication date, I'm going to do some pretty hard core contests. I'll try to advertise the shit out of those contests, to get as many people as possible to participate.

But I wanted to reward our loyal League readers by doing a contest now, just for you. I won't say I'm doing it on Twitter, or Facebook. I may put up a lil tease on my blog, as I usually do, because the same people read both.

I want to do this first, little contest because you guys have been awesome. I came out of nowhere, and you've patiently endured me blogging (a lot) about a whole bunch of bullshit. 

To win the contest, just comment here. There's no hoops to jump through. If you want to tell me in great detail why you want to read Tempest Rising, I won't turn my eyes away. But you don't have to do anything but say, "hello." Next Sunday, the 26th, at noon, I'll pick a random winner, who will get an ARC of the book. I'll mail it out that Monday.

It's just my way of saying thank you. You guys have been so great to me, and I really, really appreciate it. 

Thank you!

If You Haven't...

Make sure to enter a chance to win an ARC of Seanan McGuire's Rosemary and Rue and become an official Reviewer for a Day on the League of Reluctant Adults.  We'll choose a winner by Sunday at 11:59 PM PST and announce the winner Monday.

Just scroll

d

o

w

n

Ready to Chat You Up!

It's on, man! http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=9093

New. Shiny. Distracting.

So my next offering from Tor will be an alternate-history steampunk romp called Boneshaker -- and with it, there will be at least another couple of books (eventually) and a novelette or two. It only made sense to make a website that could hold the whole assortment under one umbrella. So I did it. And it's live.

You can find it right here.
And if you'd like a sneak peek at the prologue/introduction, all you have to do is click right here.

Anyway, if you get a minute, go check it out!

[:: blows kisses ::]

Jennifer Rardin's Secrets Revealed!

Well, not all of them. Because mystery's so much more fun than "she wears pink toenail polish." But I am doing a slamma-jamma interview over at Bitten by Books this Wednesday where I give up some inside info on the Jaz Parks series (and my future plans) as well as offer some LOVERLY prizes.

So if you wanna RSVP, you can follow this link to do that, at which point you'll have gained 50 entries into the contest for one of five autographed copies of the new, mass market edition of Once Bitten, Twice Shy as well as a $50 Barnes & Noble Gift Card. Just like that. Click, click!

http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=8813

Guest Blog and Contest with Seanan McGuire

This week we have debut urban fantasy novelist, Seanan McGuire, talking fairy tales and horror and such (and even giving away an ARC in a fun two part prize)!  Seanan's Rosemary and Rue hits the shelves in September.  Take it away Seanan!

******

Growing up perky and blonde in Northern California has its advantages, most of them having to do with getting out of doing your homework because no one actually believes you have three brain cells to knock together.  It also has its disadvantages, most notably the fact that no one believes you have three brain cells to knock together.  This makes it harder to get access to the important things in life: books that aren't about Dick and Jane, horror movies, and fairy tales by anyone but Disney.  If your goals involve these treasures, you'll have to learn guile, cunning, and the ability to look like you didn’t realize what part of the library you had warned into.

Growing up perky, blonde, and geeky in Northern California means you either dye your hair or decide to become Marilyn Munster.  I took the second option.  It seemed like a hell of a lot more fun.

It also taught me a lot about judging books by contents, not covers, and when I was introduced to the idea that Disney didn't invent Snow White, I seized on it with both hands.  Fairy tales that weren't movies yet?  Awesome!  Fairy tales that really, when you looked at them, looked a hell of a lot like my horror movies?  Double-awesome!  (This did not, mind you, endear me to the parents of my classmates, who were not pleased when I told their little darlings what "really" happened to Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella's Stepsisters, and the Little Mermaid.  Maybe I was a little too happy to share the gruesome details...)

Fantasy and horror are really natural companions.  They're the tasty chocolate and peanut butter of genre fiction, mixing in easy, awesome ways.  The rise of the "paranormal" sub-genre isn't surprising; what surprises me is that it took so long.  I was trying to explain to people why Snow White should have just picked up an axe and fixed her Wicked Queen problem herself when I was nine.  The idea of her forging an alliance with the Wolfman really wasn't very far behind.

I outgrew freaking out my classmates with excessively bloody retellings of their favorite stories, largely because I ran out of classmates, but never outgrew my love of fairy tales or gore, and never outgrew the idea that Marilyn Munster is essentially the ideal woman.  (You can bet she Scotch-guards those dresses of hers like nobody's business.)  The more I’ve learned about fairy stories, the more convinced I’ve become that they really are the foundation of modern horror--those unicorns everybody thinks are so pretty aren't going to return your virgins in a breathing format, and True Thomas's mom?  Yeah, she was essentially a type of revenant.  Folklore is awesome!  If you don’t like sleep very much.

This is the aesthetic with which I attacked my own series of urban fantasy stories, which classify best as a sort of "fairy tale noir."  I say "Oh, it’s about the fae," and people assume fluffy and sweet, just like they assume of all the little blonde girls.

This is better than telling my classmates what really woke Sleeping Beauty.  All hail the folk tale.

********

And now for the contest.  One lucky commenter will become a guest League of Reluctant Adults reviewer!  That's right.  Everyone's a critic and this is your chance to snag an advance reader's copy of Seanan McGuire's Rosemary and Rue.  Then, as if by magic, your review of the book will be posted here on the League!

Get to commentin'!

Weirdness in two parts

I need to be more careful when I text. Yesterday, I'd been working for hours on scene in which two characters die and my husband texted me from work to ask how I was doing. I responded, "Good. I just killed two people, which is always fun."

And then I realized how bad that would look if someone else picked up David's phone. Especially since all of his co-workers are cops!


****************

So Friday I stumbled onto a review of Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs on the French version of Amazon.com. It's a great review, five stars... but it's in French. I don't speak French. I took Spanish in high school. But there seemed to be some good words that I recognized in there, so that was great.

Does this mean that I'm going to be "huge in Europe?" Am I going to be the David Hasselhoff of vampire authors?

Coming soon...

So I just back my agent, Stephany's, notes on my as-yet-untitled werewolf book and we agreed that two characters need to be cut to lighten up the considerable cast and improve the hero's motivation. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I occasionally create wacky, compelling characters that ultimately don't do anything but distract from the story. In every manuscript, I end up cutting at least one character and parceling out that character's better lines out to other characters.

A while back, I joked with Stephany that I needed to start an online memorial for my "fallen characters," and we realized that would be pretty funny. Unfortunately, I couldn't start it until certain books came out because it would spoil the plots. So, with the publication of NICE GIRLS DON'T DATE DEAD MEN, next month, I will be introducing a "character graveyard" section to mollyharper.com.

I'll give you a hint about the first interrent. Two words: "Wannabe Lestat."

Despite What You May Have Heard...

...my books haven't attacked anybody in a long time. So, despite the risk, I will be appearing over at Bitten by Books all day next Wednesday and into Thursday (to accommodate those of you who live outside the States). Join me for a cool interview, major gossiping, and your chance to win SWEET prizes! See ya on July 15!

It's Trailer Week, Apparently.

Here's one courtesy of Undercover author, Lauren Dane. Thirst!!!



Mmm.

It's a Disaster!

I love natural disaster movies. Volcanoes, global warming, tornadoes ... I'm all in. Last night, when my daughter and I were watching "Knowing" with Nicolas Cage (and PS, did not like the movie itself, though it did offer a spectacular disaster), she was like, "Why do you like movies that show realistic ways we could all DIE?" My very detailed and informative responses was: "I dunno. I just do." Then we talked about the "end of the world" prophecies for 2012 and I said I'm sooooo seeing "2012" the movie, and she rolled her eyes and said, "Of COURSE you are."

So I thought I'd share with you some of my favorite disaster movies. You're welcome.

TWISTER


THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW


DANTE'S PEAK


TRAILER FOR 2012

New Winner

As previously announced here, I've drawn a new winner for the Linda Robertson Interview Contest.

The new winner is:

Tom Gallier!

Congrats, Tom! Please email me your info { mail (at) kellymeding.com } and I'll forward it to Linda.

The League of Reluctant Intellectuals....

I'm working on handouts for my upcoming upper level class on Modernist Fiction, and I stumbled across something that rocked my socks. Cause those modernists? Hella crazy....

For everyone who thinks that the modernists were stuffy, ya'll obviously haven't read Joyce's dirty letters. One caveat... do NOT open that link at work... it may actually cause a porn filter to explode, taking you and your computer with it. What I love about Joyce's letters is that they're not only filthy, they're also delightfully juvenile. They're like an episode of Terrance and Phillip, from South Park, only Joyce really is wanking when he writes them.

So I knew that the modernists were definitely not all stuffed shirts, but I had no idea just how audacious they were, till I read about the Dreadnought Hoax.

Basically, a contingent of the set that would soon become the Bloomsbury Group (which included Leonard and Virginia Woolf), tricked Britain's Royal Navy into believing they were visiting Abyssinian Royals. Here's a picture of them dressed in their finery:


















Virginia Woolf is the weirdie-beardie on the very far left.

They were given an official tour of the navy flagship, Dreadnought, complete with honor guard, and they even bestowed fake military honors on some of the sailors. They spoke to one another in pidgin-Latin and distributed cards written in Swahili. When they wanted to show their appreciation, they'd shout made up words, including "Bunga! Bunga!"

Five years later, in 1915, the Dreadnought rammed and sank a German sub during WWI. One of the telegrams congratulating the captain and crew contained a card that read, simply, "BUNGA BUNGA."

They weren't caught, despite such shenanigans as Anthony Buxton sneezing off his mustache and having to reattach it before anyone noticed. Indeed, the true nature of the "Abyssinian's" state visit remained secret until the group sent a letter, with picture, to the Mirror. Because of the pacifist nature of the Bloomsbury group, plus the sheer chutzpah of the hoax, the military was incensed. They wanted to have the ringleader, Horace de Vere Cole, arrested, and they even sent two officers to cane Cole. He didn't volunteer for the caning, replying publicly that, if anybody should be caned, it was the people who fell for the hoax.

This hoax not only embarrassed the military, it also brought a lot of attention to the emerging Bloomsbury Group, which would go on to become one of the leading intellectual forces in Britain.

Which gets me to my OTHER point. I mean, like, obviously there's a bit of a dearth in the celebrity world, what with everyone having died last week. So I think it's the perfect time for the League of Reluctant Adults to make it's move! And what better way to kick off our attempts at cultural domination than to start with some great big practical joke on the scale of the Dreadnought hoax??

What do you guys think? And what might we Leaguers do to catapult ourselves into the cultural conversation?

Mea Culpa and a Contest

Yes, yes, I know. I've been a bad Reluctant Adult lately. But now the deadline dread is finally lifting, and I'll be back around more. Is that happy weeping I hear? I thought so.

I come bearing gifts for all our writerly readers. Over at the Clarity of Night blog, I'm co-hosting a flash fiction contest with my good friend Jason Evans. The contest is a belated celebration of the release of Red-Headed Stepchild since the book idea was born in a previous contest there.

For those who don't know what flash fiction is, it's basically a really, really short story. In this case, you get 250 words to tell a story based on a picture we've posted. In fact, here it is now:


If you've read Red-Headed Stepchild (and really, if you haven't what the hell are you waiting for?), you'll understand the significance of the theme.

Anyway, I hope some of you enter. There's money and books to be won if you're brave enough. Are you brave enough? We'll see.

We're accepting entries until July 15 so get cracking!

For the non-writer peeps, there's also an interview with me about Red-Headed Stepchild to kick off the contest. Check it out.

Like Heathers with Demons

It's about time we started pushing a demon-friendly agenda around here. What with all the talk of zombies and vampires. Everyone's favorite stripper turned memoirist turned screenwriter, Diablo Cody, has come over to the dark side and pushed out a horror comedy that looks pretty damn good. Check it...



See what I mean? Thoughts?

Calling our Contest Winner!

As previously announced, the winner of the Linda Robertson Interview Contest was

BETH

who posted June 26, 3:54pm.

We haven't heard from you yet (*pokes*), so please email me ASAP [ mail (at) kellymeding.com ].


If we don't hear from our winner by this Thursday (7/9) at noon EST, another winner will be chosen.

Contest!

Mario here:

Over at Biting-Edge blog, we're having our summer contest.

Theme: What a Dumbass!

Win this classy t-shirt from the most fabulous Tattered Cover bookstore. Plus more shwag.

Try and top my story. I double-dog dare ya!

You Lucky Youz!

Hey, thanks a ton for submitting those creative and occasionally bizarre comments that also entered you into my Once Bitten, Twice Shy giveaway! I had a blast reading them all and imagining you skulking (or possibly sprinting) through a dark alley in the company of some big, bad monster!

Without further ado, here are the winners of an autographed copy of the new, mass market release of book one in the Jaz Parks series:

saycheesepease

Taylor-Marie

booklover

Congratulations to you! Please e-mail your full address to jennifer at jenniferrardin dot com and I'll get that puppy posted to you by the end of next week. Sound good? Hope so!

Dammit!

Mark beat me to a zombie walk post! Le sigh. But he did leave out my favorite pic of the event, so I'll post that one right here -- all the better to haunt your nightmares with. And in case anyone's curious, my write-up of the event can be found over here.

When There's No More Room in Hell...

...the dead will go for cocktails.



What started out as a perfectly nice day trip to Seattle to hang out with Team Seattle folks ended in a nightmare of biblical proportions...and I loved it. The Fremont Outdoor Movies people pulled together a zombie walk/Thriller dance reenactment that clogged streets tighter than old man toilet and left blood smears on every sign, window and unsuspecting passerby.

And!!!!

We broke the world record, at last count the registration reported 3800 something, but expect that more like 6000 were in attendance, lots opting not to stand in the massive line.

So here's a recap...

Started off the day driving our disabled temp-tired hybrid to the tire shop to fix a flat, which of course was in the side wall and therefore not fixable. New tire. Thankfully we had a warranty, because--little known glamorous author fact--when you're as new at the business as I am, and as unlikely to earn out your advance, I don't get paid with any great frequency. In fact, my last check came around April...2008. So there you go aspiring writers! The moral being, learn to budget that shit. Stretch it like sawdust in Wonder Bread and just be happy to be published. *end diatribe*

We fell in behind this nimrod.

And immediately fell into a discussion about how it was, here in 2009 with these trailer hitch scrotums on the market for well over 5 years now, that any self-respecting male without a micro-penis would actually hang these odes to insecurity off their pussy wagons. We started taking bets. Moderately overweight. Goatee. Pursed lips on a head nodding to the latest Dave Matthews/Lifehouse/OhMyGodKillMe band of your choice.

Correct on all three counts. I'm glad people aren't predictable.

We caught up with Synde and Cherie and after snacking on some delicious pineapple upside down cupcakes headed to Northgate to the most awesome costume shop for a big bag full of goriness. Then it was off to lunch with the freshly straightened Richelle and that garlic fry eatin' motha fucka she brought with her. I myself had regular plain fries. Plain. How was I to know?

Makes me sick. *spits*

Cherie's neighbors must be used to some zombies cuz we were spraying blood out of everywhere but our assholes and they barely blinked as they passed by. To be fair, a trio of well dressed and summery gays were mortified and thought we'd been in a car accident--though they might have just been being kind.

A note on zombie make-up: It does not hold up well in 90 degree heat. I promptly sweated off the upper half of my slash wound and ended up looking like I'd just been beaten and summarily pissed on by a biker gang. What can you do?

I'll tell you what...MORE BLOOD!

It's really the only acceptable solution.

We got to Fremont early, snatched up a primo parking space care of a certain somebody who collects things like parking spaces and popped in for a little zombie readin' courtesy of Scott Browne (Breathers).



Irreverent, topical, and always poignant. Dude! Y'all should pick up Breathers now so you can tell all the losers that won't have heard of it when the movie comes out that they suck and you read it sooo long ago. So long.

We filled up on caffeine at Fremont Coffee Company, them shits was so much better than Starbucks, I can't tell you, care of Cherie's husband, Aric (the artisinal roaster not the barista--though she was quite lovely). Then it was time to go get in the mile long queue for the zombiefest. Much more blood was spattered before we were ready to hit it up Angels-style (shout out to Farrah, RIP).



Then it was on mothafuckas!



We didn't stay for the Thriller Dance, though I hear it was a spectacle of white guy overbiting. We ended up succumbing to oldness around 9:30 and spent a half hour after getting home scrubbing the makeup off. I'm pretty sure our bathroom looked exactly like it might if we'd cleaned up after a murder. Here's a tip to all the wood be killers: Clorox wipes.

In conclusion, totally fun, I'd do it again in a heartbeat...or without.

Have a happy Fourth of July folks, don't shoot any roman candles out of your ass.

At the risk of incurring the wrath of Twilight fans (Michelle, forgive me) I had to share this. Unfortunately, I have to say, this is exactly what would happen if Buffy met Edward. Watch and see if you don't agree. Buffybuds of the world, unite!!!


Also, Mario and I are starting new contest on Saturday. Hop on over to The Biting Edge and tomorrow before picnics and fireworks and check it out.

XOX Jeanne

Don't Panic...

I'm not giving up on my rotty favorites, but I know lots of you dig the mosquitos. Here's a new vamp flick that just popped onto my radar. Looks seriously decent.



Well? Opinions?

She's Baaaaaa-aaaaack.... Well, sorta, anyway.

HELLO LEAGUE!

I know, I was like totally MIA. I've been crazy bloggin' over at my own site, where you can see all of our crazy road trippin' adventures, but I took a vacay from the League. Now I'm back! And better than ever! Okay, I'm actually knackered, with bags under my eyes, and a liver that is crying out for peace in the middle east, but whatever. I am back.

And not only am I back, but I have THESE!

Yes, that's a big ass box of ARC's. And yes, there WILL BE CONTESTS! I just am not sure what they will be, or when I will do them, as of now. Because, as I said, I have three brain cells left, and two of them are fighting in a boozy brawl while the third munches on weeks-old beignet.

But soon I will devise nefarious plans to get these into your hot little hands! I Tweeted the idea that I'd totally give one to whoever paid my rent this month..... but apparently that's not what people had in mind. So I'll come up with something better, I promise. Unless you DO want to pay my rent, in which case, you can have TWO ARC's!

In the meantime, though, if you can't get enough Nikki (and who can't, really?), I did a wee interview with Ron Hogan (which may have involved whisky and cigars... heaven!) over at GalleyCat, where I do a little League pushin'. I also got some love from Orbit. It's a great big adoration fest we gots over at my publishing company, and I couldn't be happier. You guys rock!

I'll be back soon with deets for a contest to win some Selkie Love! Woot!

Git Yer Freebies Rightchere!

Okay, maybe I shoulda been a tad more specific.

My mass market came out today! (Happy dance!)

For those of you operating in the unawares, five books in the Jaz Parks series are floating around the bookishness of the universe, but to this point they've all been trade paperbacks. The biggers.

Now you can get the first book in the series, Once Bitten, Twice Shy, in the regular size (and price!)

So to celebrate (which I'm always looking for excuses to do) I'm giving three copies away to random commenters. All you gotta do is tell me which monster you'd prefer to meet in a dark alley. Vampire? Werewolf? Zombie? Orc? Something I haven't named that you think you could vanquish a lot easier with your handy-dandy homemade sledge-0-matic? Lemme hear from you! The giveaway will close Friday at midnight Central Standard time. Let the virtual massacre begin!