When You Gotta Go

The hubby and I are avid hikers. (Example: Sunday if you'd been stalking us--and thanks a ton for not going there--you'd have found us trekking across federally managed lands in Indiana despite the fact that it was, by turns, snowing and raining.) This is factoid number one that you need to know.

Here's the second: I gotta drink a lot of water, because the medication I take to prevent migraines can be tough on the kidneys if I don't. Which means, yeah, many trips to the ladies room. Which can get kinda scarce in the middle of freaking nowhere.

This is why I feel we should offer outdoor facilities a great deal more respect than we currently do. For instance, what's the deal with bathroom vandals? Really? You had to rip the seat off? Why couldn't you just write on the wall like the rest of the world's frustrated poets? If you had, then girls like me wouldn't have been left to prance their way down the trail in hopes of finding a McDonald's plonked somewhere between the lake and the massive boulder that resembles my old Math teacher's head!

Even worse are the intact spots that are just filthy. I won't go into detail. Just imagine opening the door and screaming. Yeah, you're with me now.

Obviously I've become something of an expert in this area. As a joke, I've even begun to take pictures of my favorite spots, threatening to write a book highlighting where sporty girls can find real relief on the trail. I'm talking flush toilets. Full soap dispensers. Even (gasp!) hot air out the blow dryers. Here are my top picks.

Not much to look at on the outside, but this lovely facility in Prairie Creek Park (IN) gave new meaning to the word "relief."
















Charming, right? It's primitive inside, but you get what you need. Plus it's located in one of my ideal hiking locations, Turkey Run State Park (IN). (Don't let the name fool ya--spectacular views and really fun hikes.)















See what happens when you're so freaking cold your eyelashes start to freeze? Bad shot, I know, but the bathroom came as such a pleasant surprise. For one thing, it wasn't locked at the beginning of February. Go baby! Plus it had all the necessary amenities, including a blow dryer that assured me I didn't have frostbite after all! This one is located beside what I understand is the biggest man-made lake in Illinois--Carlyle Reservoir--in Hazlet State Park.

So there you have it, my friends. My Ode to Outdoor Bathrooms. May they stand as monuments to the fact that women don't like to go in the woods. Because we're pretty sure that's the exact moment the zombies will attack!