Burst transmission, all channels, New York City. 9:12 a.m. EST.
Ok, WTF people?! I know it's a half day Friday here, but could you fucking pedestrians show a little less sluggishness in the streets and get out of my way?
Hold the phone...
*pulls out the League Emergency Preparedness Guide*
Fuck... we got zombies. This is not a drill, League! Sure, that was e-coli on those tomatoes.... idiots!
*checks the LEPG again*
"I need to talk to Supply about labeling the flamethrowers properly. They really should come with a large sticker on them that says: WARNING! USE ON ZOMBIES ONLY PRODUCES FLAMING ZOMBIES!
Everyone to the League Safehouse NOW!
*puts on t-shirt with the image above on it*