Surprise Guest Blogger and Contest! J.F. Lewis, Author of Staked

We Reluctant Adults are just full of surprises this week and today is no different. Jeremy Lewis, the author of STAKED drops in to free up some of my time to get some actual writing done. Show him some big League love and I DO mean the kind with tongue kissing. Ready. Okay!

Voyeuristic Eating -- the Vampire Way

Mark was kind enough to ask me to stop by and blog here in the hallowed halls of the League of Reluctant Adults. He even gave me free rein to talk about whatever I wanted. MWAHAHAHAHA! This is, of course, why I chose porn. Okay. Okay. I won't blog about porn. (Though I do keep meaning to blog about the peculiarities of food porn as practiced by the vampires in my book.)

You know, maybe I will blog about food porn.

Imagine never being able to eat food again. Worse yet, imagine seeing some wonderful dessert and never being able to taste it.

No more chocolate. No more strawberries. Not even a sip of rootbeer. And what about the stuff you had never tasted? What about daikon?

It looks like a big white radish, but it doesn't taste like one. Its taste is unique.

I'm not a small mammal, and I think it's clear to anyone who's met me that I enjoy food... Which may explain why I thought one of the most cruel drawbacks to being a vampire in my universe would be the complete inability to eat or drink anything other than blood. Now imagine that you became a vampire before your would-be favorite flavor of ice cream was ever invented... or in 1936, the year before Krispy Kreme donuts. The only way you'd have left to enjoy food -- both old favorites and intriguing new flavors -- would be vicariously. My vampires are obsessed with food, smelling it and voyeuristically watching others enjoying it, making their paramours and lackeys relish the tastes they no longer can and eat the foods they crave, forcing them to savor and describe culinary delights... and debacles.

Each vampire has his or her own particular favorite long lost dishes. For Eric, the male co-tagonist of Staked, it's pizza:

"I considered buying a pizza parlor once, but I decided I would go crazy from the smell. I love pizza. If I smell pizza, I have to stop and take a good whiff; I have to look at it, see what kind it is, and watch a lucky bastard take a few bites. Chicago pizza, Italian pizza, brick-oven pizza, anchovies, pepperoni, olives, mushrooms, peppers, kiwi, it doesn't matter to me, so long as it's pizza. I think I miss pizza more than I miss the sun."

Were I a vampire, I think I'd miss crab meat the most. In the back of my head, I always intended to include a vampire chocolatier, an immortal Willy Wonka of sorts, making chocolate confections as well as special new types of chocolate, then watching those that savor his confections with all of his or her supernaturally enhanced senses, questioning them endlessly to see if the effect was what he intended. Maybe in the next book.

So all that talk about food leaves me with a question: What would you miss the most? Would it be a single food? A specific meal? A wine? A dessert? What would it be?


And now for some awesomeness. Jeremy is giving away a signed copy of STAKED to one lucky commenter. I know? It's almost too much to take, right? We've been giving shit away here all week. And it seems we still are. So...answer the man's questions for Christ sake and consider yourself entered. We'll draw tomorrow some time.

Visit Jeremy at his blog and if you don't win make sure to pick up a copy of STAKED, wherever it is people buy books.

**Edited for weird symbols--Why can't you people email me when that shit happens? My OCD kicked in like a mother**


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