Thursday, June 5, 2008

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I have a lot of ideas for stories, which I dutifully record in a file entitled, in a startling display of creativity, "Ideas 2008.doc". Maybe 10% of them actually make it to the page and maybe half of those make it to publication.

Why?

Because a lot of these ideas are bad. I don't hit a home run every time. I don't even bat .400. I do use too many sports metaphors in this paragraph.

Some highlights of my bad ideas include:

  • The Star Wars tie in novel I wrote. When I was 13. Yeah.
  • The epic dark fantasy about a WARLORD and a CHRISTIAN ALLEGORICAL SOCIETY that was THEMATIC and IMPORTANT. Also BORING.
  • The urban fantasy about vaudaun starring a redneck white chick, her pickup truck and some dead chickens.
  • The thriller about a psychic serial killer and a psychic FBI agent who had mind battles.
  • The oh-God-what-IS-it about lycanthropy experiments during the Vietnam War, complete with de-aging and Government Conspiracies. I actually still sort of like this idea, but the execution sucked.
There it is, my shameful secret--and the shameful secret of most professional writers--we have a lot of batshit crazy ideas floating around. Then again, some successful concepts are pretty nuts too: Spider-Man, anyone? Great Expectations? I guess it just proves it comes down to the execution.

And that I should never, ever be allowed to write epic fantasy again.

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