Talking to a five-year-old can get a bit complicated. First, there's the quicksilver changes in topic. Then there's the crazy declarations. Take the following:
"Momma, did you know dads always make more money than moms?"
I won't repeat the patient lecture he received, but suffice it to say that idea was nipped in the bud.
Then there was this: "What job will you do when you stop writing books?"
Huh? Why in the world would I stop writing books? I told him that if by chance I ever decided to stop writing books I'd probably go work for a magazine like I did before he was born. But it was more likely that I'd just write different kinds of books if I ever decided to stop writing about vampires and magic.
"I think you should go work at Blockbuster."
I explained that if I did that, I'd have to work for someone else. I couldn't hang out with him whenever I wanted. We wouldn't have as much time to play games together.
"I have an idea," he said. "Let's go to Blockbuster and rent Kung Fu Panda for my Wii!"
Yes, I was totally played by a kid who can't tie his own shoes.
An announcement and a reminder:
The winner of J.F. Lewis' Staked is DAELITH! Congrats! Email J.F. and he'll take care of you: j(at)authoratlarge(dot)com.
Also, don't forget my interview with Jonathan Lyons, agent and man of mystery, is tomorrow. Come by and make him feel welcome, will ya?