Happy Vampire Mother's Day!
Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to all the humans out there, too. And werewolves. And fairies. And ... um, dragons. Okay. Look if you're a mom, Happy Freaking Mother's Day, all right? Go eat your buffet and open your singing card already.
Hi. My name's Jessica Matthews O'Halloran (how I got that second last name is long story ... and Michele Bardsley so thoughtfully wrote about it in I'M THE VAMPIRE, THAT'S WHY). Michele asked me to write this post today because she's lazy. Also, she decided she wanted to see Star Trek (again ... sheesh) as her Mom's Day present. So, you know, lazy and lame.
But I digress.
I'm writing to give you the 4-1-1 about vampire motherhood. It ain't no cakewalk, people. In fact, there is no cake involved whatsoever and that's one of the parts that suck. (Snerk. I cannot resist vampire puns. Deal with it.) Okay. So more suckage: No sunlight. No chocolate. (Take that in for a minute ... yeah, you're running out to get Godiva's, aren't you? Jerk.) No food at all. None. (Sob.) Total blood diet (Since I slurp on a very fine man, I'm okay with this part). Sometimes, you have to deal with crappy paranormal peeps like vengeful vampires and pissy fairies (yeah, Zerina, I'm talking to YOU), and whatever.
Truthfully? Besides trying to raise my kids on a night schedule and not letting my undeadness get in the way of being a good mother, being a vampire ... kinda rocks. When I got Turned, it was like ... instant plastic surgery. No more crow's feet. Cellulite went bye-bye. Skin, hair, nails went all fab. I know, I know, poor me. Also, I can glamour my kids. When I tell them to go clean their rooms, they do it. First time I ask, too. My husband, Patrick, tells me I'm cheating, but I say I'm using my new skillz. I can also kick butt. Nobody better mess with me or mine because I can launch a mini-van at your head. Just sayin'.
Look, I'd rather be undead than dead-dead. Even though there are some compromises I have to make thanks to being a bloodsucker, I'm still here. I get to hug my kids every day. I get make cupcakes (I. Can't. Eat.) for school bake sales, see my son play soccer (at midnight), and watch my daughter go all pre-teen and girly (soooo fun ... only not). I'm grateful that I'm un-alive. Plus, did I mention I was married to a totally hot 4,000-year-old vampire? Yeah. He's a definite perk.
So, you know, Happy Mother's Day. Whether your alive or undead or furry or winged or what-ev-er, I hope today is filled with love for you. And chocolate. And buffets. And singing cards. And Star Trek.
Anyone who leaves a comment will be entered to win a $10 Amazon.com. One for you and one for your mother or mother-in-law or mother-type figure. And oh yeah, this prize is on Michele. 'Cause, hel-lo, she should contribute something to this post.
~Jessica
Hi. My name's Jessica Matthews O'Halloran (how I got that second last name is long story ... and Michele Bardsley so thoughtfully wrote about it in I'M THE VAMPIRE, THAT'S WHY). Michele asked me to write this post today because she's lazy. Also, she decided she wanted to see Star Trek (again ... sheesh) as her Mom's Day present. So, you know, lazy and lame.
But I digress.
I'm writing to give you the 4-1-1 about vampire motherhood. It ain't no cakewalk, people. In fact, there is no cake involved whatsoever and that's one of the parts that suck. (Snerk. I cannot resist vampire puns. Deal with it.) Okay. So more suckage: No sunlight. No chocolate. (Take that in for a minute ... yeah, you're running out to get Godiva's, aren't you? Jerk.) No food at all. None. (Sob.) Total blood diet (Since I slurp on a very fine man, I'm okay with this part). Sometimes, you have to deal with crappy paranormal peeps like vengeful vampires and pissy fairies (yeah, Zerina, I'm talking to YOU), and whatever.
Truthfully? Besides trying to raise my kids on a night schedule and not letting my undeadness get in the way of being a good mother, being a vampire ... kinda rocks. When I got Turned, it was like ... instant plastic surgery. No more crow's feet. Cellulite went bye-bye. Skin, hair, nails went all fab. I know, I know, poor me. Also, I can glamour my kids. When I tell them to go clean their rooms, they do it. First time I ask, too. My husband, Patrick, tells me I'm cheating, but I say I'm using my new skillz. I can also kick butt. Nobody better mess with me or mine because I can launch a mini-van at your head. Just sayin'.
Look, I'd rather be undead than dead-dead. Even though there are some compromises I have to make thanks to being a bloodsucker, I'm still here. I get to hug my kids every day. I get make cupcakes (I. Can't. Eat.) for school bake sales, see my son play soccer (at midnight), and watch my daughter go all pre-teen and girly (soooo fun ... only not). I'm grateful that I'm un-alive. Plus, did I mention I was married to a totally hot 4,000-year-old vampire? Yeah. He's a definite perk.
So, you know, Happy Mother's Day. Whether your alive or undead or furry or winged or what-ev-er, I hope today is filled with love for you. And chocolate. And buffets. And singing cards. And Star Trek.
Anyone who leaves a comment will be entered to win a $10 Amazon.com. One for you and one for your mother or mother-in-law or mother-type figure. And oh yeah, this prize is on Michele. 'Cause, hel-lo, she should contribute something to this post.
~Jessica
Comments
I think I could dig being an undead mom, even though it has it's down side, the perks far out way them. ;)
Happy Mother's Day!
Great blog oh and I can't do chocolate already :( as Michele knows since she volunteered to take my chocolate from Danny LOL.
Renee'
Happy Mothers Day to all,
Terry
Tom Gallier
Happy Moms Day everyone!
Lynda
I hope to see Star Trek this week in between work, small humans, Dad, etc. Well, maybe I'll see it next week. :)
Happy Mothers Day!
Debby
cleo@hbeark.com
How was Sylar as Spock? Movies aren't in the budget, but I do want to watch him in DVD.
I spent Mother's day with computer problems. I was supposed to work on homework, but due to technical difficulties. I took the kids to go swimming.
Hugs, Danette
I was dog sitting my neighbors little dog.
My electric lines fried together and blew out a buch o stuff..
Thank goodness for surge protectors. Too bad there wasnt one on my Oven...
So my treat was my neighbor works for the elect co and when he got home he called up and yelllllled at them. He had them here with in an hour... woot
Yeah for water heat lights and my computer didnt fry~~~~
~Linda~
i was eating migraine pills and wishing for tequlia
though my fella did bring home a nice plate from his sisters house. my oldest daughter did get me some body spray :)
tehashley(at)yahoo(dot)com
It would have been awesome to go to PTA meetings at midnight. I think that was one reason I got hooked on this series. And it might actually be a decent trade-off to have the plastic-surgery-without-the-knife in return for the limited diet. Have any hot friends living near Pittsburgh? Send 'em over!