Happy Vampire Mother's Day!

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to all the humans out there, too. And werewolves. And fairies. And ... um, dragons. Okay. Look if you're a mom, Happy Freaking Mother's Day, all right? Go eat your buffet and open your singing card already.

Hi. My name's Jessica Matthews O'Halloran (how I got that second last name is long story ... and Michele Bardsley so thoughtfully wrote about it in I'M THE VAMPIRE, THAT'S WHY). Michele asked me to write this post today because she's lazy. Also, she decided she wanted to see Star Trek (again ... sheesh) as her Mom's Day present. So, you know, lazy and lame.

But I digress.

I'm writing to give you the 4-1-1 about vampire motherhood. It ain't no cakewalk, people. In fact, there is no cake involved whatsoever and that's one of the parts that suck. (Snerk. I cannot resist vampire puns. Deal with it.) Okay. So more suckage: No sunlight. No chocolate. (Take that in for a minute ... yeah, you're running out to get Godiva's, aren't you? Jerk.) No food at all. None. (Sob.) Total blood diet (Since I slurp on a very fine man, I'm okay with this part). Sometimes, you have to deal with crappy paranormal peeps like vengeful vampires and pissy fairies (yeah, Zerina, I'm talking to YOU), and whatever.

Truthfully? Besides trying to raise my kids on a night schedule and not letting my undeadness get in the way of being a good mother, being a vampire ... kinda rocks. When I got Turned, it was like ... instant plastic surgery. No more crow's feet. Cellulite went bye-bye. Skin, hair, nails went all fab. I know, I know, poor me. Also, I can glamour my kids. When I tell them to go clean their rooms, they do it. First time I ask, too. My husband, Patrick, tells me I'm cheating, but I say I'm using my new skillz. I can also kick butt. Nobody better mess with me or mine because I can launch a mini-van at your head. Just sayin'.

Look, I'd rather be undead than dead-dead. Even though there are some compromises I have to make thanks to being a bloodsucker, I'm still here. I get to hug my kids every day. I get make cupcakes (I. Can't. Eat.) for school bake sales, see my son play soccer (at midnight), and watch my daughter go all pre-teen and girly (soooo fun ... only not). I'm grateful that I'm un-alive. Plus, did I mention I was married to a totally hot 4,000-year-old vampire? Yeah. He's a definite perk.

So, you know, Happy Mother's Day. Whether your alive or undead or furry or winged or what-ev-er, I hope today is filled with love for you. And chocolate. And buffets. And singing cards. And Star Trek.

Anyone who leaves a comment will be entered to win a $10 Amazon.com. One for you and one for your mother or mother-in-law or mother-type figure. And oh yeah, this prize is on Michele. 'Cause, hel-lo, she should contribute something to this post.

~Jessica

Comments

Redheaded Mama said…
I'd love to be able to glamor my kids... don't wanna give up chocolate though :D
Fantasy Dreamer said…
My mom's day treat is Star Trek!

I think I could dig being an undead mom, even though it has it's down side, the perks far out way them. ;)
Munk said…
I'll trade chocolate for Patrick anyday.....
MsTami said…
I'd give up my chocolate pizza for a hunky vampire dude. That's really saying something. :)
colleen m said…
My mother's day so far has consistent of reading Vampire mom novels in bed. Could I ask for a better day? lol

Happy Mother's Day!
Anonymous said…
LOL..well my Mother's day gift was finishing cleaning the house (it was a diaster area) and finish up the laundry. I want to be able to glamour my kid...Hello 16 yo girl.

Great blog oh and I can't do chocolate already :( as Michele knows since she volunteered to take my chocolate from Danny LOL.

Renee'
Jackie Ballway said…
Oooh...Star Trek...wonder if I can convince the hubby to take me today. He already brought me flowers and a book (the man is a flipping saint!), so it might be a tough sell.
Give up my chocolate - NEVER....LOL. I can't wait to find a copy of your story and read it.

Happy Mothers Day to all,
Terry
Elyane said…
No chocolate but you get to see star trek. Nice. Happy mother's day
Anonymous said…
I'm not a mother (being a man, and all) but I could really go for seeing that new Star Trek movie.

Tom Gallier
Leslee said…
Jessica, quite your whinin' already you get Patrick. I get chocolate. I think we're even. I wish my kids would clean when I told them to the first time.

Happy Moms Day everyone!
Jennifer said…
My mother's day involves reading and watching movies. My baby daughter just wants to sleep today. :)
Anonymous said…
OMG, I would love to get my daughter to clean her room, she will be 21 this coming Tuesday, she was my Mother's Day gift way back when and now along with my Son!!! I think I would dig being a Vamp so I would always be healthy and could get rid of the bad stuff in my body! Happy Mother's Day, Jessica, Michele and all the rest of you wonderful Mom's out there!

Lynda
Heather said…
Jess, thanks for picking up the slack. Star trek did rock!!! Although, I am very sorry about the chocolate thing. I'm torn...totally plastic surgery...but no food. tough call.
Chris said…
Hmm. Got a spare hunky 4000 year old vampire guy around there? ;)
Nia said…
Hmmm....could I live without chocolate in exchange for instant child obedience? I'm thinkin' maybe could. You go, Ms. Jessica.
Qwill said…
Thanks for the post, Jessica. Happy Mom's Day to you. And to Michele also of course.

I hope to see Star Trek this week in between work, small humans, Dad, etc. Well, maybe I'll see it next week. :)
donnas said…
Thanks Jessica. I really feel bad for you on the chocolate front. Hopefully you are as happy as you sound and it gets better not being able to eat it.

Happy Mothers Day!
alanajoli said…
Happy Mother's Day, Jessica! I hope one of these years Godiva opens a vampire-special line. :)
macbeaner said…
Happy Mother's Day to you! :)
Caffey said…
Happy Mother's Day too! I agree, I'd rather be undead and dead dead, LOL. And love Michele's books! Love the humor! Great pick me up reads!
HockeyVampiress said…
Try being a mom to 4 boys and one lazy hubby!!!! 5 men and 2 male cats.....too much testosterone....me and the poor ole doggie who stays outside are the only feeeeemale!!! Somedays I wish I was undead!!
Maxi Redman said…
Oh I am thinking that Patrick is worth giving up chocolate! And the whole sucking on his thigh thing... Oh yeah! Well Happy Mother's Day Jess and Michele!
elie said…
Heck, I'd give up chocolate for 30 minutes of uninterrupted read time. I have to keep the hours of an undead just to read my books! Happy Mothers Day.
deb said…
I gave up my Mother's day to go spend the day with my Mother-in-law. They are having a hard time right now because of family problems with my sister-in law. It was a good day though.
Debby
cleo@hbeark.com
danetteb said…
Hi Michele and Jessica,

How was Sylar as Spock? Movies aren't in the budget, but I do want to watch him in DVD.

I spent Mother's day with computer problems. I was supposed to work on homework, but due to technical difficulties. I took the kids to go swimming.

Hugs, Danette
Llehn said…
Thanks for the fun post! Happy Mother's Day!
Vickie said…
My Mom's Day Treat was brunch at El Jardin Mexican Restaurant, being let loose in DSW and then in my favorite plant nursery. Thank you for the Happy Mother's Day. = )
Well I had no electric for 2 days.
I was dog sitting my neighbors little dog.
My electric lines fried together and blew out a buch o stuff..
Thank goodness for surge protectors. Too bad there wasnt one on my Oven...
So my treat was my neighbor works for the elect co and when he got home he called up and yelllllled at them. He had them here with in an hour... woot
Yeah for water heat lights and my computer didnt fry~~~~


~Linda~
well mothers day pretty much sucked for me, my mom threw a hissy fit and my daughters all was fighting and the 3rd daughter refuse to even go to my mother and granmothers
i was eating migraine pills and wishing for tequlia
though my fella did bring home a nice plate from his sisters house. my oldest daughter did get me some body spray :)
babygirlG said…
I don't think they do enough stories about vampire moms on TV or novels so this is an interesting read!

tehashley(at)yahoo(dot)com
Amy said…
I live ALMOST the whole my-life-begins-when-the-sun-goes-down thing, but by choice - and oddly enough, my college-age son does, too.

It would have been awesome to go to PTA meetings at midnight. I think that was one reason I got hooked on this series. And it might actually be a decent trade-off to have the plastic-surgery-without-the-knife in return for the limited diet. Have any hot friends living near Pittsburgh? Send 'em over!
Rini said…
OK, a bit late here, I just found this website - cool! I got a hanging flower pot of pansies for Mother's day, and a few days after we hung it outside, we had a nest with 5 blue birds eggs ...! I can't wait to see them hatch. I wonder if birds celebrate mother's day ...

Popular posts from this blog

Rangers Lead The Way

Miriam Kriss: Vampire