It's surreal to have to say that to your son.
El Maestro (my oldest) and Charm Attack (my youngest) have both had interesting adventures in the realm of kissing this week. El Maestro (who has been practicing his violin of his own free will so much this week that his fingertips have started to peel) has always been a hit with the ladies. At the ripe old age of a few years less than ten, however, he has never been chased by girl before... well, before this week anyway.
Picture it! You're playing on the playground, when suddenly, that girl that you think is kinda neat charges across the playground at you. And worse, she's smiling. You run! You dart in and out of playground equipment, but to no avail. In mere minutes she has you. You're on the ground! She's holding you down! And you've been... KISSED! And on the cheek, too! The horror!
Charm Attack's kissing story, however, is the one that involves tongue. Since Charm Attack first heard of germs, he hasn't really been a fan of kissing. In fact, an unasked for kiss on the head or cheek from a grandparent or great grandparent really torques him off.
"You got your germs on me," he'll say angrily. "I didn't want your germs on me."
The wife and I have had enforce an ask first rule with him. It's little bit odd explaining grownups that if they want to kiss their grandson, they have to ask him first. Recently though, Charm Attack has been all about the kissing only that's not what he really does. What he really likes to do is lean in to give someone a kiss on the cheek and then lick them. Which lead to this scenario:
Charm Attack: Dad, can I kiss you on the cheek?
Me: Sure, but no licking.
Charm Attack gave an annoyed grunt and walked away in disgust only to return a few minutes later, Nintendo DS in hand, wanting help gettng to the Joker in LEGO Batman. Ah the wonder of kids.
Feel free to share your own wacky kissing stories. :P I'm off to tackle more copyedits for ReVamped.
[Edit: You know, for the record that was supposed to read "wacky KID stories", but I'll leave my freudian slip in place. /sigh]