Purple Helmets and Bearded Clams

This weekend, I attended a readers' conference. It was a lot of fun, but my favorite part was the discussion about euphemisms. Pleasure dome and pink-skinned cobra were two of my favorites. But readers were divided about which they preferred--euphemisms or the four-lettered words. Personally, I think it depends on the context. Sometimes only a bit of the "how's your father" will do. Other times I don't graphic language like the "c" and "p" words. But what I really want to know is:

What's the best (and by best I mean worst) euphemism you've read in a book?

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